Non existent existence

How can I call this an existence without you near me.  
Never knowing the gentle caress of your touch across my face    
Never having the chance to hold you in a loving embrace.    
Has my heart racing from just the thought,      
Of you and I being worlds apart.    
Yet, growing closer from your looks and words    
That quietly penetrate my mind day in and day out.  
But still loud enough to force it’s way pass this impenetrable wall placed around my heart.    
     
How can I call this an existence    
Knowing that the days seem longer      
As I count the hours, minutes and seconds      
Until the moment I can feel your lips press against mine    
Awaiting a chance to pull you close and freeze time,  
so I can never let another second pass us by.    
Taking in every look, laugh, smile, breathe, you give like it’s the last      
Or as if time will catch up and take away this euphoric high.      
     
How can I call this an existence without your light that warms my very soul.    
Guiding me from the darkness that pulls at me from every corner.    
Brightening up a path that leads to a future that was meant for me and you.      
Giving a deprived life lost in the madness of this world, a reason to regain its sanity      
Making a life thought to be only seen on tv or in movies a reality.    
     
That’s why I can’t call this an existence now that I know you are out there    
And I can’t exist knowing you are not here    
So I’ll continue to live this life until time closes the distance    
And call it my non-existent existence.