Reasons Why

Give me five of them.
Five reasons why
I shouldn't do it.
One is my lover.
Two is my sister.
Other than them...
Why shouldn't I?
Why can't I finally release the poison?
Let flow what is circulating in my body,
free the blood that carries the fury?
It broods here,
Lingers like a sick
honey, cloys my arteries and eyes,
clouds over the clarity,
makes me spit sour.
My life offers no clarity,
traps me and
pins me here,
penning me into this little box.
after awhile the contentment fades away,
and I realize I am trapped,
stuck
weighted down.
Roots sowing a solid earth,
preventing me from wandering.
I want to rip them away
burn away with fire
what binds me.
I want to see blood flow,
those that oppress me to be shredded by me.
Don't touch me.
you'll catch fire.
I'll make you bleed.
Let the beast in me break free,
and watch it devour me.
watch as I sit quietly by as my body obliterates
everything around me
pounding it into the pulpy earth.
watch as rain and sweat slide over me,
watch as I savor the pain.
let me experience the agony of life,
and break out of the sickness that holds me down.
But right now,
because of circumstance,
I am immobile,
unable to use my own two feet to carry me away,
unable to damage what is not there.
there is no cage where I can safely let myself be
filled with fury and hate.
I have penned the beast for far too long now,
despising each moment where
I choose to be gentle,
to not push my body and grow strong.
I hate,
beyond words,
what I have become.
and I want to change.
But give me the God damn space.
I have nowhere to run,
and am tethered by others,
who beg me to stay still.
No longer can I maintain this stagnant spirit,
calmly wading through life.
I want to light the world on fire.
Fuck circumstance.
I want to finally be free again...
to breathe through burning lungs as I run in the mud,
to feel exhilaration
as I accomplish what others couldn't.
Watch me as I reclaim what Is mine.
Watch as the pain I am plagued with fades,
and I am reborn.
Are these the reasons?
the reasons why the blade remains where it is?
still, and unstained
with my thin blood?