Till death do us part

Thought I had strength in mind, body, and soul. Said I could never be bent, or even break anymore.
Through all the shot that I saw, thought I been through it all. rose from the bottom to the top, only to topple and fall. Now to top it all off, wife and kids packed up and gone.
I started to party hard like nothing happened at all, until reality hit felt like I been smacked with a wall. Now I'm lost in this fog, and in the midst of it all. I shuttered everyone out ignored my kids when they called.
Confused and I'm lost. So sick of hypothetical answers to my guesses I leave my questions with god. Look at me now!!!!!! See how fucking far I veered off?!?!? like I'm driving the car but the steering is gone. List self control and direction, right along with my home.
Getting high all the time riding round with the homie. masking my anger and pain. Frustrated bout Xavier!! I can't see him at all!!! But I know he growing handsome and tall. Why you won't let the two of us talk?!?! Damn!!!!!! She won't answer not nan one of my calls!!!!
They say gotta move forward, boy dust yourself off. How the fuck I move on, when I feel like half the man that I was? 'Fore she took off with my heart!!!!