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LOVE IS ONE.
LOVE IS ONE.
Love, you are one, but seem in various ways
like that which brings a man to his dear girl,
or mothers to their kids, and Christ to us,
and you are pure and clean in all your forms.
You are so pure, and have a snow-white hand,
that wants to give and touch to please and guard.
The lover does not touch to please himself,
but to delight the person whom he loves.
The lover's life is not of great concern.
He lives for whom he loves and for her smile.
He is prepared to risk all what he owns
to see that whom he loves is in full joy.
So pure is she to him that he can't deem
it proper to dress her chaste face in red.
He gets near her with well anointed hands
to make her feel she gets much more sublime.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
Love, you are one, but seem in various ways
like that which brings a man to his dear girl,
or mothers to their kids, and Christ to us,
and you are pure and clean in all your forms.
You are so pure, and have a snow-white hand,
that wants to give and touch to please and guard.
The lover does not touch to please himself,
but to delight the person whom he loves.
The lover's life is not of great concern.
He lives for whom he loves and for her smile.
He is prepared to risk all what he owns
to see that whom he loves is in full joy.
So pure is she to him that he can't deem
it proper to dress her chaste face in red.
He gets near her with well anointed hands
to make her feel she gets much more sublime.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
Published 14th Apr 2020
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
It is a writing crime to write (unmetrical)
that "He gets near her with [his] well anointed hands
to make her feel she gets much more sublime"
without going on to tell
his readers here
just what it is "than which"
he makes her feel that she's beyond bigtime.
The absence of the objects of comparisons
so needed when superlatives are part of written verse
if what one means to say, convey,
has half a chance of making sense,
is something that J-Z is noted for.
And see how many instances of "pure"
J-Z's set out within this piece.
Did he not say that his intent
is to abjure his typical displays
of limited vocabulary?
But see how little he has really changed
his writing ways.
And what, one asks, is love
to guard the loved one from?
He doesn't say, let alone go on
responsibly to tell.
And yet he thinks (mistakenly)
he writes "so well".
that "He gets near her with [his] well anointed hands
to make her feel she gets much more sublime"
without going on to tell
his readers here
just what it is "than which"
he makes her feel that she's beyond bigtime.
The absence of the objects of comparisons
so needed when superlatives are part of written verse
if what one means to say, convey,
has half a chance of making sense,
is something that J-Z is noted for.
And see how many instances of "pure"
J-Z's set out within this piece.
Did he not say that his intent
is to abjure his typical displays
of limited vocabulary?
But see how little he has really changed
his writing ways.
And what, one asks, is love
to guard the loved one from?
He doesn't say, let alone go on
responsibly to tell.
And yet he thinks (mistakenly)
he writes "so well".
16th Apr 2020 6:33pm
What is the difference
between my saying that
“The eyes of my old friend
were gray”
and saying this:
“the color in his eyes
reflected dawn’s ghost light
One sentence “tells”
the other “shows”
and offers us experience
instead of facts.
.
Oh would that you
would write this way
and give to us a sonorous intensity
instead of clumps of statements
that, in terms of sensory awakenings,
are stale
and pancake flat.
Is that too much to ask?
between my saying that
“The eyes of my old friend
were gray”
and saying this:
“the color in his eyes
reflected dawn’s ghost light
One sentence “tells”
the other “shows”
and offers us experience
instead of facts.
.
Oh would that you
would write this way
and give to us a sonorous intensity
instead of clumps of statements
that, in terms of sensory awakenings,
are stale
and pancake flat.
Is that too much to ask?
