deepundergroundpoetry.com
NaPo 2020 (The Hodgepodge Chronicles)
21/30
The Suitcase
When crooked claws of age lays its last axiom upon me
I shall wear dark funeral clothes and white summer gloves,
robin-blue hat, pale and soft as the day I held her in my arms.
I will gather bouquet of flowers near the half-finished swings
lily of the valley, carnations and lavender lilacs, perfume’d
delicately, awakening sleepwalkers brimmed with wanderlust.
Gently tip-toeing to attic of my mind where lays a suitcase
with whispers and lullabies. Weathered and worn skin-deep
patched wishes sewn to torn dreams threaded of regrets.
The leather peels wheeling snippets infused with talc & honey;
7 knotted prayers, beaded braids lain on pink dress & booties
folded in satin’d dome. Placid and cold. Oddly, I barely recall
The curse’d night inhaling incense and sage, digging the dirt
with broken nails beneath the black walnut tree, malevolent
roots coiled around wombs and empty tombs, a mausoleum
Of dust and doom ruffled in waves of peace, heaved of tears
burrowing these useless limbs in obscure corner of origami
A sweet homecoming to a child of love, an unfinished life.
An angel flutters, clutching ribbons of rainbow, like a dove.
=====================================================
20/30
The Other Woman
How can I rival with thy one pledged
essence of beauty, sultry and fair
moonshine smile, eyes heathen hell
tangles in mane, seductive and bare
brushing quill’s mighty lit ale.
Purer than moon, waxed and waned
brighter than sun on spring’s last day
dint of plumes rise in the air
lips to quench, sultry dare.
Amaranth drops on alabaster sheets
light as feather, deep in well’s ink
immortal and rare, no doubt in my head
sculpted befit by skillful hands
she awaits, secrets secreting perplexed
softly twining musings in threads.
Sorcerer!, I cry, while thou compose;
petals of sherry and buds of dew
commanding seasons crowning throne.
One knows not what, what is true
gently draping on weary old fool
she draws coyly deterred by two
honeyed syntax and witchy brew.
To bed, to wed in novels & poesy
lain in the arms so faithfully.
O’ jealousy! Eyes rob thy blind
guise of darkness forking the tongue
scales convulsed veer the night,
wild hearts flap, with fire and ire.
=======================================
19/30
The Breakfast Club
(Inspired by the movie)
It seems wrong
to be watching at this hour
lights flickering
sleep swelling the night
augmented, spellbound
the pendulous moon
suspended from a tree
when I should be sitting
on the floor
crunching cereal between
two slices of bread
inventing lies and lores
cutting them in squares
with a razor blade
more reliable than circles
without an edge
but i’m a rotten liar
I wear slothfulness with a flare
shaking dandruff from my hair
life’s urgency pounding at the doors
ship-shaping the wayward world
beauty in cruelty
empathy in pain.
I once asked, ‘Where’s God?”
When a child gets slapped
across the face
sent to bed
starved of embrace.
They will grow
to take care of you
with a smile, chipped tooth
and a bag of debt.
The twilight draws
its velvet curtain
brooding to its reflection
wishing I could fill
these clouds with kerosene
to set the sky on fire
instead;
I light a candle
say a prayer
holding my tongue
to the flame.
======================================
18/30
Coffee
(We will always have coffee, if; nothing else)
(1)
I want you whole
your weathered loins
oozing with oil
essence of soil
bursting with warmth
relishing rain and sun.
*
*
Liquid ecstasy
drips tap, tap, tap
intrinsic tempestuous tempo
infiltrating aromatic rouse
through pale ivory walls
rising reign with each trickle
titivating canvas of dawn, like
a love poem longing to burst
on the tongue.
Dark, mysterious, enigma
drop by drop, cup after cup
surges the heart
warming the soul
synchronic
sentience; bliss.
(2)
Conversations
always started and ended with coffee
flavored kisses
soft, succulent, silky
akin to smiles: loose and wide.
Coils of hair unraveled
like waves upon a tide
disrobing scent of musk and midnight
softening dusk, trailing morning light
in remains of two cups
thickening
forgotten.
(3)
My finger
traces the circle
imprinted on table
stain soaked within the grain
of dark frame, round n’ round
a tunnel of cosmic karma.
*
*
Some rings
stay
on fingers
others by bedside
where its safe.
==============================
17/30
The Art Of Dying
You always had a habit
of dying
nonchalantly
in the middle of sentence
when we’re trying to convince
ourselves
we are at war.
Two tongues dueling
like swords
in suicidal mouths.
Who knew?
Which one would fall
forward
voluntarily
surrendering to defeat.
Then you’d laugh
assuringly
with temporality of
a blunt arc
tapering to a steeple.
Throwing your head
back in the past
to the moment of latency
coming alive
from underbelly of relief;
a faded footnote,
stigmata gentled by the hour.
This exchange of blood
always seemed sexy
dangerous, alluring
the kind of taboo
mothers’ warned vehemently.
A poison in the blood.
But, you had mastered
the art of dying
in every portrait
unframed.
A crowned laureate
flaring
the tapestry with a gusto
matches flung
carelessly to pyre of piles
allowing
consequences
to paint tomorrow.
=============================================
16/30
Kill Me With Your Love
Kissed the lines on my face
caved scars in both hands
never asking how or where
calling my flesh a sacrifice
and we’d never be apart.
Love divine, love sanctified
spooning lies and last rites
he promised one thousand
dreams, breamed of weeds
clear to stream, sought for
one fought for none. Burning
behind the red old barn, like
cornsilk tassels in the night.
What good will it do, knowing all
knowing none clawing less than
one could find, caught in net
fought in dung, hung in splint
two old stones toiled in mud.
Berries, cream & crushed nuts
fed from trees tall and dark
shrubs crept whole and wild
teething bramble, lightening bugs.
He build a path cutting twigs
chopping words, choking wills
nails nailing upon this bridge
over marrow thick with love.
‘Hurry, hurry..’ he called out
my name surging songs seraph
breaking metaphors in spite
“Light never forgives the dark”
oft swelling seeds in a park.
Betwixt sheet cuffed to vows
vines braided soaked in wine
confused the limbs expertly
myths, links and offerings.
Thread by thread, tale by tale
unraveled mazy masterpiece
atonement sought, war fraught
in my arms, in my skin
’My alter…my psalter’ he cried.
Crumbling inside with all his sins.
======================================
15/30
Red Red Hearts
Baby orb beets
bleed ruby ink
piled in a pot
swaddled mud
blisters bubble
tongues treble
bold smoke hot
Aphrodite taut
earth stone gem
sticky sweet sap
tender folds drag
slowly undressed
uprooted upright
sultry sublime
heed-come-hitter
heaven’s delight
singed goddess
secrets secrete
stained fingers
feed with a beat
red, red hearts
robust chunks
untamed mouths
sin rapture lust.
=======================================
14/30
Aunt Eliza goes to Tijuana
How many words do we know
in the english language?
Hundred, two hundred, a thousand.
Synonyms, antonyms, adverbs, adjectives.
Collectively, do we implement what we know
to live life fully, completely?
Unlike most, hoarding words
Aunt Eliza had mastered the art of simplicity
her tongue trundled three mere words
used efficiently, heedfully, appropriately
Thank you, bybye and Cucumber
the latter was puzzling, admittedly.
We weren’t sure how or when she had learned
especially the way she pronounced
cooo-come-per, phonically mellifluous
acquiring some kind of Wonder Woman power
making it her own to haggle and barter
vegetables and fruits, comparing freshness
to all things great and small to Cucumber-ism
firmness, color, grooves on skin, returning
home triumphantly with bagful of groceries.
*
*
She didn’t know how to drive
but her talent as studious passenger
surpassed any licensed driver
possessing a secret compass
navigating without knowledge of
street names or city limits.
“Turn right" she’d say. Pointing left
and by the old adage
“Actions speak louder than words”
following the direction of her hand
always proved the quote.
*
*
One glorious sunny day
Aunt Eliza decided to hop on the bus for Tijuana
the rumor through the mill was surely impressive
barely restraining herself from running barefoot
to adopt knickknacks, gimcracks for dust bunnies.
“I need a painting to match the couch
something floral, something bright” she announced.
Strapping the fanny pack, bidding the family farewell
promising to come home before nightfall
and much of the cash.
*
*
She was gone for three days, three nights
no phone calls, no sound
not even a peep or a beat
thrumming from the land of Aztecs.
On the fourth day she was on the return bus.
An enormous painting of a lotus in bloom
in tow, sweat drenching, dusty shoes with holes
standing room only, she grasps the pole
rocking steadily, lurch-reel & roll.
Suddenly, she feels a spasm
her stomach contracts convolutedly
borborygmus accelerations of
rumbling
tumbling
gurgling
rivaled with hustle n’ bustle
the bus and engine.
She assures herself no one would hear
takes a deep breath, pelting with a zeal
Oh’ what a relief and an encore
to cease the final release.
That’s when she lowers her gaze
meeting the old man
in glittery sombrero watching her face
smiling slyly, nodding approvingly
‘Madame, good boom boom!’ he exclaims,
hand fisted, pounding the air.
*
*
There’s comfort in universal language
of commonalty, communicating and relating
in the absence of thesaurus or a dictionary.
While other things best remained unspoken,
untold in the theory of cooo-come-prism
and a woman wandering on her own
in Tijuana Mexico.
==========================================
13/30
Rooted
There are two small dark moles
in the back of my arm, one
shaped like an almond
smooth and dark with tiny
little forest of trees
bent to imaginary winds
roots darker than above.
The other, a thimble
softly protruded yielding to touch.
I’d rub it, pretending it was a lost bead
from my grandfather’s chain of prayers;
Tasbeh, the color of toasted wheat.
He’d murmur silently some ancient
language foreign to my ears
pulling the gems in three’s
to a full circle
ending with beginning.
My mother would say
she’d find me anywhere
lost, kidnapped or a runaway
from the shape of nevi on my skin.
I’d dare her by coming home late
from school to see her curly hair
amplified, rods electrified
tinged with worry-silver.
Memories,
sweetly unkind
linger with my grandfather’s worry
beads hung from my wall
timeless, magical, mysterious
and my birthmark
with its tiny forest bowing to time
remind me;
Nothing is ever lost
firmly rooted to the ground.
================================================
12/30
Blue Easter
lies & the body in blue// dreaming of a dull sphere// seasons
& reasons cursed retreat// mouths sewn, conscience unclear//
Faberge spawn, cyclone'd myth// glass resistance tempered fits//
grand design of mercurial gin ink// an atmospheric (almost-electric)
tranquilized secrecy // architectural quandary// politics decree// tape-
worms breed// azobenzene on blueprint// press the forget-me-nots,
periwinkle & butterfly// verisimilitude on peeled skin// diagram of
design, desire & descry// azure, cyan, indigo reflect// oceans of tinge//
there’s no sky, no sea, no i, no u// cobalt, Cambridge, Dutch disagree//
dissent despondents on blue Danube// see the eye in heaven bruised-
blue? Cerulean reflections ponder clues// Prussian Monet swirls Starry
stars// (a)cross the prayers one last time// here lies the body & blue//
====================================================
11/30
Christmas With Aunt Eliza
(3 days before Christmas)
Earth tingled, streaming ribbons somersaulting to childhood dreams
accrued in moments, incremented within reach.
Somehow, Aunt Eliza managed to untangle defiantly, unapologetically
at Christmas with a glee, innocence wrapped in bows
shiny foils reflective of cheers.
Her favorite color was blue, not just any blue, Royal blue.
The color of Princess Diana’s ring representing: class, elegance, beauty
unhurried, unworried, bold, outwardly. She had the exact replica on her finger
bought at a swapmeet. I’d secretly watch her admiring at every angle
light catching her dreamy eyes, somewhere far away.
A princess in tiara and satin gown.
As grace grows, soft and thick.
I had found the perfect gift to to soothe her weary feet
matching the sapphire ring; navy Isotoner plush booties
sold at JCpenny on a deal.
The Tree seemed crooked. Half dressed, half naked
glittery ornaments, silvery tinsels, lights, red and green
some snoozing, others on cue wandering from branch to branch
towering mountain of boxes, the nativity: Mary and Joseph
baby Jesus missing from the scene.
All was quiet through the house, no one was stirring
not even the cat with fluffy mouse.
But, there was Aunt Eliza tip-toeing in the dark
guessing every secret hidden from view
perhaps only the three wise men knew
shaking, weighing, carefully assessing width x height + circumference
sound in absence of light, to wit’s end
conclusively batting her fake eyelashes, sweetly
pleading "What did you get me, do tell…"
"Aunt Eliza! You must wait, my lips are sealed to first light
when we all gather to celebrate as one."
And off I went for a walk; exasperated, confused
who was the adult, who was the child
hands full.
Upon return, I found the house in shambles,
disarrayed, upturned, jumbles of rumple
She was wailing, crying, frantically searching
“My ring, my ring, it’s gone, it’s lost!”
descending, upending
tears to waterfalls
voice to murmurs
culling, lulling
every possibility nulled and void
resigning to her loss.
*
*
*
For three days, the sun stopped rising and the moon folded its icy glare
bored with monotony of grief.
On Christmas morning Aunt Eliza adorned her smile,
charging from the bedroom wearing her red taffeta dress
greeting the gifts with exuberance
unwrapping, admiring with surprised delight.
When she opened the box of booties her esteem was utmost.
How blue, how magnificent splendidly stupendous!
And was it the right size?
She threw her old tattered pair aside, slipping hastily the new ones.
Alas, something wasn’t right
Her feet had encountered a mysterious object
obstructing the way.
She removed the slippers with investigative squint
shaking the booty upside down and out falls the ring!
We all stared at it in disbelief.
How did the ring get inside?
*
*
*
Curiosity may turn angels into daredevils
It may even kill the cat
but Aunt Aliza will never be a suspect
in the art of resealing, rewrapping
no fingerprints
no witness.
In other news,
the case of missing baby Jesus
continues….
=============================================
10/30
Dear B,
You would not believe
the purple flowers blooming wildly
on Jacaranda trees. Petals covering
the grounds like rugs in Persepolis.
Watercolors of annuals, perennials
inaugurating rains of spring.
If I sent you pictures
it wouldn’t do justice
neither do my eyes seeing
without your sight like silver coins
sparkling on the shores of Cannon Beach.
I have watched the moon’s
twelve phases from my room
and rivers of sky between us.
Wondering where you are
if you are watching the same stars.
Do we taste grief alike?
I make an offering in the dark, to gods of
stones carved in salt. In their silence
wings grow to taste your mouth, words
orphaned in the winds but somehow I find
you within reach…in my heart.
Tolstoy wrote in his stories:
Life is a long chapter of misunderstandings
in increments of tragedy, but
there is always beauty in sufferings
the agony of love…apart.
======================================
9/30
A Poem Without Title
I’m not sure what this poem is about
it could be about anything and everything
things that matter without pitter-patter.
In the dust, in the gust without much fuss
and it will never be construed for its depth
or linguistic artistic expressions.
Revisions, provisions or any kind of vision
envisioning the worse like blank piece of paper
mockingly grinning in its invisible threads
despite the ink splattering in the brain;
a Pollock painting disrupting all the grey.
But what does it really matter
without a subject and ample time
when I can’t even weave
two words to make a rhyme.
Ahavati tells me to just write
unfurling
uncurling
unctuously
unassuming
ad lib!
O’ so liberating
on and on and on…
To pour wisdom and elegance
like the greats: Keats, Poe and Loa
timeless thinkers and takers
inhaling earth’s grime and dirt
exhaling beauty and wonder
back to universe.
Although, I’m proud of the title
It’s everything
if nothing.
Original
unique
unpretentious.
Perhaps I’ll call it
“New and improved’
Soliloquy
solely
mine at qua.
=================================
8/30
The Whore
Rain
drops
heavy
pounding the ground
like spaghetti water through sieve
merciless
exuberant glee.
The scene
drenched in a song
when we fumbled room to room
falling helplessly into silky sheets.
Giggles
drowned in nothings
whispered pixie in my ear.
Later,
when we knocked
golden daffodils in a vase.
I pretended not to care.
He offered to read Bukowski
“Prayer in bad weather”
bookmarked
yellow’d from lonely years
but instead,
I pulled the dictionary
Inquisitively thumbing
wildflowers and their roots
latin and common
pronouncing each word
with a flare
softly
elongated
with passing clouds.
He listened eagerly
sounds twisting lip to reap.
“Whore”
his voice cut
dipped in timbre.
“Would you want me to call you that?”
chartering waywardly in my eyes.
I turned the page slowly
scrolling to its origin.
“Whore” I repeated
foreign on my tongue:
Old English
Germanic
Dutch
German
Latin
“Carus”
“Yes, Dear,” I replied.
That’s when I understood
Buk and all his whores.
So loved..Oh love
Beloved.
====================================
7/30
The Talk
There wasn’t anything extraordinary
of the moment, mother calling me in
to have that talk which every girl for
generations have known,
the inevitable change to womanhood.
Although, the day was as bright as ever
and sounds outside clattered with same
flittering tempo, comfortably allowing
ripples of echo. Her voice was quieter
and the words were wisely measured
“It only gets better with time and in time
you will learn one must make choices.”
She had loved once and once was enough
in her lifetime. Blooming in hands tender
yet, strong.
She rouged her lips, perfumed her skin
dressing in red because it was the color
he adored and she adorned his desires.
My father cherished her and the luck
bestowed, fanning the spark
to never cease the fireworks.
I’d watch them from the corner of my eye,
in disbelief. Happily ever afters do exist.
But—how could I tell mother that I’ve split
more wishbones than one to free the bird
with broken wings rattling in cage of bones
who no longer recalls, the songs of the heart.
=========================================
6/30
Spring
Spring rains wash cold winds
winding last of winter’s fury
releasing its wheezing breath
brittle hold of uncouth fingers
The earth splits open in praise
not prying too much in grace
hollows, sorrows surrender
quivering in moonlit paths
Perennials & bulbs emerge
reliable, steady like prayers
blooming savagely, wildly
succulent tendrils in realm
There, unfolds lip of purple iris
here, blue hydrangea clusters
aslant trellised trumpet vine
shy blossoms sway, lulled
Fireflies light the dark canvass
whispering wisdom of trees
the honeysuckle’d life, haven
in arms. Gods, Venus alight.
============================================
5/30
Aunt Eliza
There was always dirt under her fingernails
sunrise to sundown
cooking, cleaning, mending for her family
wearing the same gingham dress
or so it seemed, every day of the week
but somehow she managed to look clean;
spring’s haste in her footsteps
perfectly coiled hair in cannon of beehive
a flower tucked in the back
pink Maybelline on lips and scent of Tabu
lingered from her sunburned neck
commanding the light
children, cats, dogs, old and young
even the cuckoo bird, petrified in the clock.
We would hear her voice
down the neighborhood, bouncing from walls
with a deep and slow accent
dragging the eee, pulling the ooo
yanking the words like an acrobat across the lawns
never missing a good idiom with a laugh.
Her hands were ruthless yet; gentle, meticulous
the way she tackled preparations
like some kind of scientific formulation.
Wrapping grape leaves stuffed with rice,
lamb & herbs rolled in perfect little bundles
fingers branched like spines of a wing
each a river in harmony
rolling, coaxing soft and hard
dark crescents glistening beneath the tips.
Everything was scrumptious
like La Petite Parisienne on Rue Marash
baked in small windowless kitchen
with her dirty hands, broken nails;
orange blossom honey cakes
pistachio filled Fillo nests and
crumbs of dirt in the glaze.
The taste of home in every bite.
====================================
4/30
The Jogger at 4am.
The darkness wallowed in its own misery
thick with molasses opacity, hot and vicid
the air hovered over streets indecisively
dripping into streams from leaves, buildings
and automobiles. Scent of mildew and dust
unfurled slowly with systematic persistence
smothering with each drop, weight of water.
The street lights were indifferent, heads in bow
silent witnesses to all creatures in fear of light
fretfully racing with urgency to win the fight.
Twin headlights sped cutting through shadows
leaving kaleidoscope of colors as afterthought
and a solitary thin frame appeared, jogging
hurriedly, running to..mayhap fro, the finish line.
=========================================
3/30
Lying to a liar
More than once
I confessed a lie
to protect the truth
when you knew
one hundred people
could have told you
what you already knew.
More than once
I pretended not to cry
to protect you from guilt
bestowed by your own whip
one thousand lashes
against your skin, reducing
a man to his knees.
Once I knelt
Rubbing ointment on your feet
blisters, burns and bedraggled
looking up to your eyes
searching for the boy, lost
who cried wolf
one too many times
lying to your lies
to protect your fears
now we both lie (separately)
in our tears.
More than once
you have walked that (familiar)
lonely road
paved by your hands
criss- crossing, every step
now yours, again
all on your own.
======================================
2/30
The Stage
Silence breaks in half to the sound of thunder
and echoes cascade in the distance, fearful
to disturb the night longing liberation of solitude
crawling to the horizon ‘pon stars at deathbed.
I tiptoe in the empty rooms searching for lightening
to jolt fractured pieces of life in despair to repair
the vast spaces of void, weightless artifacts
lay at half mass covered with dust and the rusty tin
roof overhead sizzles under tempo of raindrops
muffling last summer’s temper of lustful expectations.
Velvet curtains sway apprehensively at the shrine of
panes pretending indifference at the erratic static
rising staccato to pounding marcato.. in vain.
Cold seeps beneath my feet, through bones
feeling chill of the earth turned inside out, reflected
to brooding sky above, absence aligned erred to
recreate footnotes of a golden past: reposed, beheld.
===========================================
1/30
The Three Month Old King
Come in little new year, crawl right in
shy of four months with a halo of a dead moon
‘round your reared head, bearing headline news
we were worried on arrival, speculating
the unimaginable: pains, gains and heartbreaks
carrying last year’s wars, bombs and shrapnel
to cut right through the skin
revealing disease of all mankind
on full volume topping the charts.
A Corona…the coronet of your 3 month reign
but we both know the core of the truth
there are just too many of us populating the earth
destructing more than constructing
undeserved to live longer than we should
on someone else’s watch
which stopped ticking at quarter to two.
I won’t slap your back for a job well done
nor hear you wail at thieves of the sun
cutting from one end to patch another
each on its own solitary road to hell.
I won’t confess my sins, nor yours
on wobbly knees in the church of obsoletes
the holy water is someone else’s piss
and the communion wafer is laced
with Monsanto blessings, instead
I will suck the air my neighbor breathes
eat the words tossed carelessly, and
lick the walls my government builds
washing it down with a cheap bottle of booze
and a dose of faith to taste the color of hope.
After all, “In God We Trust.”
The Suitcase
When crooked claws of age lays its last axiom upon me
I shall wear dark funeral clothes and white summer gloves,
robin-blue hat, pale and soft as the day I held her in my arms.
I will gather bouquet of flowers near the half-finished swings
lily of the valley, carnations and lavender lilacs, perfume’d
delicately, awakening sleepwalkers brimmed with wanderlust.
Gently tip-toeing to attic of my mind where lays a suitcase
with whispers and lullabies. Weathered and worn skin-deep
patched wishes sewn to torn dreams threaded of regrets.
The leather peels wheeling snippets infused with talc & honey;
7 knotted prayers, beaded braids lain on pink dress & booties
folded in satin’d dome. Placid and cold. Oddly, I barely recall
The curse’d night inhaling incense and sage, digging the dirt
with broken nails beneath the black walnut tree, malevolent
roots coiled around wombs and empty tombs, a mausoleum
Of dust and doom ruffled in waves of peace, heaved of tears
burrowing these useless limbs in obscure corner of origami
A sweet homecoming to a child of love, an unfinished life.
An angel flutters, clutching ribbons of rainbow, like a dove.
=====================================================
20/30
The Other Woman
How can I rival with thy one pledged
essence of beauty, sultry and fair
moonshine smile, eyes heathen hell
tangles in mane, seductive and bare
brushing quill’s mighty lit ale.
Purer than moon, waxed and waned
brighter than sun on spring’s last day
dint of plumes rise in the air
lips to quench, sultry dare.
Amaranth drops on alabaster sheets
light as feather, deep in well’s ink
immortal and rare, no doubt in my head
sculpted befit by skillful hands
she awaits, secrets secreting perplexed
softly twining musings in threads.
Sorcerer!, I cry, while thou compose;
petals of sherry and buds of dew
commanding seasons crowning throne.
One knows not what, what is true
gently draping on weary old fool
she draws coyly deterred by two
honeyed syntax and witchy brew.
To bed, to wed in novels & poesy
lain in the arms so faithfully.
O’ jealousy! Eyes rob thy blind
guise of darkness forking the tongue
scales convulsed veer the night,
wild hearts flap, with fire and ire.
=======================================
19/30
The Breakfast Club
(Inspired by the movie)
It seems wrong
to be watching at this hour
lights flickering
sleep swelling the night
augmented, spellbound
the pendulous moon
suspended from a tree
when I should be sitting
on the floor
crunching cereal between
two slices of bread
inventing lies and lores
cutting them in squares
with a razor blade
more reliable than circles
without an edge
but i’m a rotten liar
I wear slothfulness with a flare
shaking dandruff from my hair
life’s urgency pounding at the doors
ship-shaping the wayward world
beauty in cruelty
empathy in pain.
I once asked, ‘Where’s God?”
When a child gets slapped
across the face
sent to bed
starved of embrace.
They will grow
to take care of you
with a smile, chipped tooth
and a bag of debt.
The twilight draws
its velvet curtain
brooding to its reflection
wishing I could fill
these clouds with kerosene
to set the sky on fire
instead;
I light a candle
say a prayer
holding my tongue
to the flame.
======================================
18/30
Coffee
(We will always have coffee, if; nothing else)
(1)
I want you whole
your weathered loins
oozing with oil
essence of soil
bursting with warmth
relishing rain and sun.
*
*
Liquid ecstasy
drips tap, tap, tap
intrinsic tempestuous tempo
infiltrating aromatic rouse
through pale ivory walls
rising reign with each trickle
titivating canvas of dawn, like
a love poem longing to burst
on the tongue.
Dark, mysterious, enigma
drop by drop, cup after cup
surges the heart
warming the soul
synchronic
sentience; bliss.
(2)
Conversations
always started and ended with coffee
flavored kisses
soft, succulent, silky
akin to smiles: loose and wide.
Coils of hair unraveled
like waves upon a tide
disrobing scent of musk and midnight
softening dusk, trailing morning light
in remains of two cups
thickening
forgotten.
(3)
My finger
traces the circle
imprinted on table
stain soaked within the grain
of dark frame, round n’ round
a tunnel of cosmic karma.
*
*
Some rings
stay
on fingers
others by bedside
where its safe.
==============================
17/30
The Art Of Dying
You always had a habit
of dying
nonchalantly
in the middle of sentence
when we’re trying to convince
ourselves
we are at war.
Two tongues dueling
like swords
in suicidal mouths.
Who knew?
Which one would fall
forward
voluntarily
surrendering to defeat.
Then you’d laugh
assuringly
with temporality of
a blunt arc
tapering to a steeple.
Throwing your head
back in the past
to the moment of latency
coming alive
from underbelly of relief;
a faded footnote,
stigmata gentled by the hour.
This exchange of blood
always seemed sexy
dangerous, alluring
the kind of taboo
mothers’ warned vehemently.
A poison in the blood.
But, you had mastered
the art of dying
in every portrait
unframed.
A crowned laureate
flaring
the tapestry with a gusto
matches flung
carelessly to pyre of piles
allowing
consequences
to paint tomorrow.
=============================================
16/30
Kill Me With Your Love
Kissed the lines on my face
caved scars in both hands
never asking how or where
calling my flesh a sacrifice
and we’d never be apart.
Love divine, love sanctified
spooning lies and last rites
he promised one thousand
dreams, breamed of weeds
clear to stream, sought for
one fought for none. Burning
behind the red old barn, like
cornsilk tassels in the night.
What good will it do, knowing all
knowing none clawing less than
one could find, caught in net
fought in dung, hung in splint
two old stones toiled in mud.
Berries, cream & crushed nuts
fed from trees tall and dark
shrubs crept whole and wild
teething bramble, lightening bugs.
He build a path cutting twigs
chopping words, choking wills
nails nailing upon this bridge
over marrow thick with love.
‘Hurry, hurry..’ he called out
my name surging songs seraph
breaking metaphors in spite
“Light never forgives the dark”
oft swelling seeds in a park.
Betwixt sheet cuffed to vows
vines braided soaked in wine
confused the limbs expertly
myths, links and offerings.
Thread by thread, tale by tale
unraveled mazy masterpiece
atonement sought, war fraught
in my arms, in my skin
’My alter…my psalter’ he cried.
Crumbling inside with all his sins.
======================================
15/30
Red Red Hearts
Baby orb beets
bleed ruby ink
piled in a pot
swaddled mud
blisters bubble
tongues treble
bold smoke hot
Aphrodite taut
earth stone gem
sticky sweet sap
tender folds drag
slowly undressed
uprooted upright
sultry sublime
heed-come-hitter
heaven’s delight
singed goddess
secrets secrete
stained fingers
feed with a beat
red, red hearts
robust chunks
untamed mouths
sin rapture lust.
=======================================
14/30
Aunt Eliza goes to Tijuana
How many words do we know
in the english language?
Hundred, two hundred, a thousand.
Synonyms, antonyms, adverbs, adjectives.
Collectively, do we implement what we know
to live life fully, completely?
Unlike most, hoarding words
Aunt Eliza had mastered the art of simplicity
her tongue trundled three mere words
used efficiently, heedfully, appropriately
Thank you, bybye and Cucumber
the latter was puzzling, admittedly.
We weren’t sure how or when she had learned
especially the way she pronounced
cooo-come-per, phonically mellifluous
acquiring some kind of Wonder Woman power
making it her own to haggle and barter
vegetables and fruits, comparing freshness
to all things great and small to Cucumber-ism
firmness, color, grooves on skin, returning
home triumphantly with bagful of groceries.
*
*
She didn’t know how to drive
but her talent as studious passenger
surpassed any licensed driver
possessing a secret compass
navigating without knowledge of
street names or city limits.
“Turn right" she’d say. Pointing left
and by the old adage
“Actions speak louder than words”
following the direction of her hand
always proved the quote.
*
*
One glorious sunny day
Aunt Eliza decided to hop on the bus for Tijuana
the rumor through the mill was surely impressive
barely restraining herself from running barefoot
to adopt knickknacks, gimcracks for dust bunnies.
“I need a painting to match the couch
something floral, something bright” she announced.
Strapping the fanny pack, bidding the family farewell
promising to come home before nightfall
and much of the cash.
*
*
She was gone for three days, three nights
no phone calls, no sound
not even a peep or a beat
thrumming from the land of Aztecs.
On the fourth day she was on the return bus.
An enormous painting of a lotus in bloom
in tow, sweat drenching, dusty shoes with holes
standing room only, she grasps the pole
rocking steadily, lurch-reel & roll.
Suddenly, she feels a spasm
her stomach contracts convolutedly
borborygmus accelerations of
rumbling
tumbling
gurgling
rivaled with hustle n’ bustle
the bus and engine.
She assures herself no one would hear
takes a deep breath, pelting with a zeal
Oh’ what a relief and an encore
to cease the final release.
That’s when she lowers her gaze
meeting the old man
in glittery sombrero watching her face
smiling slyly, nodding approvingly
‘Madame, good boom boom!’ he exclaims,
hand fisted, pounding the air.
*
*
There’s comfort in universal language
of commonalty, communicating and relating
in the absence of thesaurus or a dictionary.
While other things best remained unspoken,
untold in the theory of cooo-come-prism
and a woman wandering on her own
in Tijuana Mexico.
==========================================
13/30
Rooted
There are two small dark moles
in the back of my arm, one
shaped like an almond
smooth and dark with tiny
little forest of trees
bent to imaginary winds
roots darker than above.
The other, a thimble
softly protruded yielding to touch.
I’d rub it, pretending it was a lost bead
from my grandfather’s chain of prayers;
Tasbeh, the color of toasted wheat.
He’d murmur silently some ancient
language foreign to my ears
pulling the gems in three’s
to a full circle
ending with beginning.
My mother would say
she’d find me anywhere
lost, kidnapped or a runaway
from the shape of nevi on my skin.
I’d dare her by coming home late
from school to see her curly hair
amplified, rods electrified
tinged with worry-silver.
Memories,
sweetly unkind
linger with my grandfather’s worry
beads hung from my wall
timeless, magical, mysterious
and my birthmark
with its tiny forest bowing to time
remind me;
Nothing is ever lost
firmly rooted to the ground.
================================================
12/30
Blue Easter
lies & the body in blue// dreaming of a dull sphere// seasons
& reasons cursed retreat// mouths sewn, conscience unclear//
Faberge spawn, cyclone'd myth// glass resistance tempered fits//
grand design of mercurial gin ink// an atmospheric (almost-electric)
tranquilized secrecy // architectural quandary// politics decree// tape-
worms breed// azobenzene on blueprint// press the forget-me-nots,
periwinkle & butterfly// verisimilitude on peeled skin// diagram of
design, desire & descry// azure, cyan, indigo reflect// oceans of tinge//
there’s no sky, no sea, no i, no u// cobalt, Cambridge, Dutch disagree//
dissent despondents on blue Danube// see the eye in heaven bruised-
blue? Cerulean reflections ponder clues// Prussian Monet swirls Starry
stars// (a)cross the prayers one last time// here lies the body & blue//
====================================================
11/30
Christmas With Aunt Eliza
(3 days before Christmas)
Earth tingled, streaming ribbons somersaulting to childhood dreams
accrued in moments, incremented within reach.
Somehow, Aunt Eliza managed to untangle defiantly, unapologetically
at Christmas with a glee, innocence wrapped in bows
shiny foils reflective of cheers.
Her favorite color was blue, not just any blue, Royal blue.
The color of Princess Diana’s ring representing: class, elegance, beauty
unhurried, unworried, bold, outwardly. She had the exact replica on her finger
bought at a swapmeet. I’d secretly watch her admiring at every angle
light catching her dreamy eyes, somewhere far away.
A princess in tiara and satin gown.
As grace grows, soft and thick.
I had found the perfect gift to to soothe her weary feet
matching the sapphire ring; navy Isotoner plush booties
sold at JCpenny on a deal.
The Tree seemed crooked. Half dressed, half naked
glittery ornaments, silvery tinsels, lights, red and green
some snoozing, others on cue wandering from branch to branch
towering mountain of boxes, the nativity: Mary and Joseph
baby Jesus missing from the scene.
All was quiet through the house, no one was stirring
not even the cat with fluffy mouse.
But, there was Aunt Eliza tip-toeing in the dark
guessing every secret hidden from view
perhaps only the three wise men knew
shaking, weighing, carefully assessing width x height + circumference
sound in absence of light, to wit’s end
conclusively batting her fake eyelashes, sweetly
pleading "What did you get me, do tell…"
"Aunt Eliza! You must wait, my lips are sealed to first light
when we all gather to celebrate as one."
And off I went for a walk; exasperated, confused
who was the adult, who was the child
hands full.
Upon return, I found the house in shambles,
disarrayed, upturned, jumbles of rumple
She was wailing, crying, frantically searching
“My ring, my ring, it’s gone, it’s lost!”
descending, upending
tears to waterfalls
voice to murmurs
culling, lulling
every possibility nulled and void
resigning to her loss.
*
*
*
For three days, the sun stopped rising and the moon folded its icy glare
bored with monotony of grief.
On Christmas morning Aunt Eliza adorned her smile,
charging from the bedroom wearing her red taffeta dress
greeting the gifts with exuberance
unwrapping, admiring with surprised delight.
When she opened the box of booties her esteem was utmost.
How blue, how magnificent splendidly stupendous!
And was it the right size?
She threw her old tattered pair aside, slipping hastily the new ones.
Alas, something wasn’t right
Her feet had encountered a mysterious object
obstructing the way.
She removed the slippers with investigative squint
shaking the booty upside down and out falls the ring!
We all stared at it in disbelief.
How did the ring get inside?
*
*
*
Curiosity may turn angels into daredevils
It may even kill the cat
but Aunt Aliza will never be a suspect
in the art of resealing, rewrapping
no fingerprints
no witness.
In other news,
the case of missing baby Jesus
continues….
=============================================
10/30
Dear B,
You would not believe
the purple flowers blooming wildly
on Jacaranda trees. Petals covering
the grounds like rugs in Persepolis.
Watercolors of annuals, perennials
inaugurating rains of spring.
If I sent you pictures
it wouldn’t do justice
neither do my eyes seeing
without your sight like silver coins
sparkling on the shores of Cannon Beach.
I have watched the moon’s
twelve phases from my room
and rivers of sky between us.
Wondering where you are
if you are watching the same stars.
Do we taste grief alike?
I make an offering in the dark, to gods of
stones carved in salt. In their silence
wings grow to taste your mouth, words
orphaned in the winds but somehow I find
you within reach…in my heart.
Tolstoy wrote in his stories:
Life is a long chapter of misunderstandings
in increments of tragedy, but
there is always beauty in sufferings
the agony of love…apart.
======================================
9/30
A Poem Without Title
I’m not sure what this poem is about
it could be about anything and everything
things that matter without pitter-patter.
In the dust, in the gust without much fuss
and it will never be construed for its depth
or linguistic artistic expressions.
Revisions, provisions or any kind of vision
envisioning the worse like blank piece of paper
mockingly grinning in its invisible threads
despite the ink splattering in the brain;
a Pollock painting disrupting all the grey.
But what does it really matter
without a subject and ample time
when I can’t even weave
two words to make a rhyme.
Ahavati tells me to just write
unfurling
uncurling
unctuously
unassuming
ad lib!
O’ so liberating
on and on and on…
To pour wisdom and elegance
like the greats: Keats, Poe and Loa
timeless thinkers and takers
inhaling earth’s grime and dirt
exhaling beauty and wonder
back to universe.
Although, I’m proud of the title
It’s everything
if nothing.
Original
unique
unpretentious.
Perhaps I’ll call it
“New and improved’
Soliloquy
solely
mine at qua.
=================================
8/30
The Whore
Rain
drops
heavy
pounding the ground
like spaghetti water through sieve
merciless
exuberant glee.
The scene
drenched in a song
when we fumbled room to room
falling helplessly into silky sheets.
Giggles
drowned in nothings
whispered pixie in my ear.
Later,
when we knocked
golden daffodils in a vase.
I pretended not to care.
He offered to read Bukowski
“Prayer in bad weather”
bookmarked
yellow’d from lonely years
but instead,
I pulled the dictionary
Inquisitively thumbing
wildflowers and their roots
latin and common
pronouncing each word
with a flare
softly
elongated
with passing clouds.
He listened eagerly
sounds twisting lip to reap.
“Whore”
his voice cut
dipped in timbre.
“Would you want me to call you that?”
chartering waywardly in my eyes.
I turned the page slowly
scrolling to its origin.
“Whore” I repeated
foreign on my tongue:
Old English
Germanic
Dutch
German
Latin
“Carus”
“Yes, Dear,” I replied.
That’s when I understood
Buk and all his whores.
So loved..Oh love
Beloved.
====================================
7/30
The Talk
There wasn’t anything extraordinary
of the moment, mother calling me in
to have that talk which every girl for
generations have known,
the inevitable change to womanhood.
Although, the day was as bright as ever
and sounds outside clattered with same
flittering tempo, comfortably allowing
ripples of echo. Her voice was quieter
and the words were wisely measured
“It only gets better with time and in time
you will learn one must make choices.”
She had loved once and once was enough
in her lifetime. Blooming in hands tender
yet, strong.
She rouged her lips, perfumed her skin
dressing in red because it was the color
he adored and she adorned his desires.
My father cherished her and the luck
bestowed, fanning the spark
to never cease the fireworks.
I’d watch them from the corner of my eye,
in disbelief. Happily ever afters do exist.
But—how could I tell mother that I’ve split
more wishbones than one to free the bird
with broken wings rattling in cage of bones
who no longer recalls, the songs of the heart.
=========================================
6/30
Spring
Spring rains wash cold winds
winding last of winter’s fury
releasing its wheezing breath
brittle hold of uncouth fingers
The earth splits open in praise
not prying too much in grace
hollows, sorrows surrender
quivering in moonlit paths
Perennials & bulbs emerge
reliable, steady like prayers
blooming savagely, wildly
succulent tendrils in realm
There, unfolds lip of purple iris
here, blue hydrangea clusters
aslant trellised trumpet vine
shy blossoms sway, lulled
Fireflies light the dark canvass
whispering wisdom of trees
the honeysuckle’d life, haven
in arms. Gods, Venus alight.
============================================
5/30
Aunt Eliza
There was always dirt under her fingernails
sunrise to sundown
cooking, cleaning, mending for her family
wearing the same gingham dress
or so it seemed, every day of the week
but somehow she managed to look clean;
spring’s haste in her footsteps
perfectly coiled hair in cannon of beehive
a flower tucked in the back
pink Maybelline on lips and scent of Tabu
lingered from her sunburned neck
commanding the light
children, cats, dogs, old and young
even the cuckoo bird, petrified in the clock.
We would hear her voice
down the neighborhood, bouncing from walls
with a deep and slow accent
dragging the eee, pulling the ooo
yanking the words like an acrobat across the lawns
never missing a good idiom with a laugh.
Her hands were ruthless yet; gentle, meticulous
the way she tackled preparations
like some kind of scientific formulation.
Wrapping grape leaves stuffed with rice,
lamb & herbs rolled in perfect little bundles
fingers branched like spines of a wing
each a river in harmony
rolling, coaxing soft and hard
dark crescents glistening beneath the tips.
Everything was scrumptious
like La Petite Parisienne on Rue Marash
baked in small windowless kitchen
with her dirty hands, broken nails;
orange blossom honey cakes
pistachio filled Fillo nests and
crumbs of dirt in the glaze.
The taste of home in every bite.
====================================
4/30
The Jogger at 4am.
The darkness wallowed in its own misery
thick with molasses opacity, hot and vicid
the air hovered over streets indecisively
dripping into streams from leaves, buildings
and automobiles. Scent of mildew and dust
unfurled slowly with systematic persistence
smothering with each drop, weight of water.
The street lights were indifferent, heads in bow
silent witnesses to all creatures in fear of light
fretfully racing with urgency to win the fight.
Twin headlights sped cutting through shadows
leaving kaleidoscope of colors as afterthought
and a solitary thin frame appeared, jogging
hurriedly, running to..mayhap fro, the finish line.
=========================================
3/30
Lying to a liar
More than once
I confessed a lie
to protect the truth
when you knew
one hundred people
could have told you
what you already knew.
More than once
I pretended not to cry
to protect you from guilt
bestowed by your own whip
one thousand lashes
against your skin, reducing
a man to his knees.
Once I knelt
Rubbing ointment on your feet
blisters, burns and bedraggled
looking up to your eyes
searching for the boy, lost
who cried wolf
one too many times
lying to your lies
to protect your fears
now we both lie (separately)
in our tears.
More than once
you have walked that (familiar)
lonely road
paved by your hands
criss- crossing, every step
now yours, again
all on your own.
======================================
2/30
The Stage
Silence breaks in half to the sound of thunder
and echoes cascade in the distance, fearful
to disturb the night longing liberation of solitude
crawling to the horizon ‘pon stars at deathbed.
I tiptoe in the empty rooms searching for lightening
to jolt fractured pieces of life in despair to repair
the vast spaces of void, weightless artifacts
lay at half mass covered with dust and the rusty tin
roof overhead sizzles under tempo of raindrops
muffling last summer’s temper of lustful expectations.
Velvet curtains sway apprehensively at the shrine of
panes pretending indifference at the erratic static
rising staccato to pounding marcato.. in vain.
Cold seeps beneath my feet, through bones
feeling chill of the earth turned inside out, reflected
to brooding sky above, absence aligned erred to
recreate footnotes of a golden past: reposed, beheld.
===========================================
1/30
The Three Month Old King
Come in little new year, crawl right in
shy of four months with a halo of a dead moon
‘round your reared head, bearing headline news
we were worried on arrival, speculating
the unimaginable: pains, gains and heartbreaks
carrying last year’s wars, bombs and shrapnel
to cut right through the skin
revealing disease of all mankind
on full volume topping the charts.
A Corona…the coronet of your 3 month reign
but we both know the core of the truth
there are just too many of us populating the earth
destructing more than constructing
undeserved to live longer than we should
on someone else’s watch
which stopped ticking at quarter to two.
I won’t slap your back for a job well done
nor hear you wail at thieves of the sun
cutting from one end to patch another
each on its own solitary road to hell.
I won’t confess my sins, nor yours
on wobbly knees in the church of obsoletes
the holy water is someone else’s piss
and the communion wafer is laced
with Monsanto blessings, instead
I will suck the air my neighbor breathes
eat the words tossed carelessly, and
lick the walls my government builds
washing it down with a cheap bottle of booze
and a dose of faith to taste the color of hope.
After all, “In God We Trust.”
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