Dreks, Texts and loneliness: Word Vomit Tsunami

Time is wasting
as I'm wasting away
I don't know how much more
of my brain I can take

I've kept social distance
as a matter of course
for the last three years
no one comes through my door

Not a call
Not a text
no one checks on me
or maybe my filter decides what I see?

A thin sheen of cynicism
lay over everything
I must find a way
to make optimism king

But I feel so scattered
like nothing I do matters
I keep looking for answers
but am I asking the wrong questions?

I want to start questing this century
I'm eager to begin adventuring
but all I'm doing is lecturing
The people who most love me

It's no way to be
I'm just scared they'll see
that I don't know
what the hell I'm doing

So I push them away
Insult their faculties
then play the victim
when they don't crawl back to me

am I a monster or a drek?
Can I start over again?
Or is it too late to say
"I'm sorry for who I've been"?