deepundergroundpoetry.com
Bright Fervor For Battle, Fading
standing so tall just to fall
can’t say she didn’t give it her all
can’t say she did though,
either;
the irony
lungs that just ran out of air
life was never going to be fair
bright fervor for battle,
fading;
the exhaustion
praying to gods for relief
ignored for her concealed disbelief
left raw without armor,
wounded;
the forsaking
trying too hard to connect
finding space where we each intersect
the twine that tethers her,
almost;
the desiring
love’s become so outdated
bearing pain with grace, overrated
fate’s dark burden shouldered,
alone;
the acceptance
can’t say she didn’t give it her all
can’t say she did though,
either;
the irony
lungs that just ran out of air
life was never going to be fair
bright fervor for battle,
fading;
the exhaustion
praying to gods for relief
ignored for her concealed disbelief
left raw without armor,
wounded;
the forsaking
trying too hard to connect
finding space where we each intersect
the twine that tethers her,
almost;
the desiring
love’s become so outdated
bearing pain with grace, overrated
fate’s dark burden shouldered,
alone;
the acceptance
Published 12th Mar 2020
Author's Note
Written for an outside contest with the rules being 5 stanzas, each stanza with 5 lines, each stanza following a 7-9-6-2-4 syllable count.
Subject matter inspired by Celldweller’s “Just Like You” https://youtu.be/jHTJra7dhNQ
Subject matter inspired by Celldweller’s “Just Like You” https://youtu.be/jHTJra7dhNQ
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 3
comments 12
reads 314
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
12th Mar 2020 4:42pm
Beautiful inspirational piece. I would honestly lose 'the' prior to acceptance. It seems to just get in the way.
12th Mar 2020 5:00pm
Ugh, I so agree with removing the word “the” from acceptance. It stutters and I am not a fan. But, I ran out of time to find a better 4-syllable descriptor, so I’ll work on it later today. Thank you, Ahavati 💜
12th Mar 2020 5:05pm
12th Mar 2020 5:07pm
12th Mar 2020 7:31pm
12th Mar 2020 7:35pm
Reminds me of "anyone" by Demi Lovato 😭😭😭😭
You sure know how to write tear jerkers! 💖✌️😎
You sure know how to write tear jerkers! 💖✌️😎
12th Mar 2020 11:35pm
12th Mar 2020 11:30pm
12th Mar 2020 11:35pm
16th Mar 2020 11:52pm
18th Mar 2020 1:51am
Indeed we do; there is wisdom that comes with those later pieces of acceptance 💜
