Poetry’s  Dead (Alternate ending) version 2

I write and write    
to try and give these words  
life and not tragedy    
The pain in my life has me apathetic as fuck no apology  
I cured my own heartbreak no medic or ER needed    
No soup or cough medicine    
  
        Either    
  
I write or let the darkness    
Tell me    
        I still need her  
The four letter sin  
Despite, what I divulged  
      in  
my red notebook    
I am not a lesbian  
  
This poetry’s dead without my gold pen  
The secrets it’s withholding  
Is cutting me thin  
 
I masterbate words with that pen
Her free verse got me horny  
But this Poetry’s dead if I can’t get an orgasm
From a hard acrostic