I feel......

I feel abandoned and
misunderstood at times.
Nothing but an honest heart,
as I sit down to write these rhymes.
Opening up to release these burdens, the ones that have left a stain.
Before the sadness turns me to stone, I need something to dull this deep pain.

The stress of this life is getting too real, my words can't even set me free.
I used to think I was so strong.
stronger than these demons that haunt me.
Each day is a struggle to carry on,
the pressure is getting harder to bare.
The weight of the world on my shoulders,no end in sight , it's not fair.

In the past I scattered my damaged emotions, like ashes of wisdom on the paper to heal.
Now I just avoid writing,
so I don't have to face how I feel.
Always feeling like some part of me is missing, a hole in my chest where the bullet shot straight through.
just trying to ignore the damage,
afraid of what feeling the hurt might do.

I try so hard to have faith and hope; they say "God won't give you more than you can take."
So why won't this madness stop invading my soul, I've been through enough for heavens sake.
Is this how my life ends,
ls this my final call?
I always imagined a fairytale,
well that's not my life at all.

I Can see myself going under, drowning in my own tears.
No one is rushing to save me, thats one of my biggest fears.
My days are suffocating, I can't breathe, I'm hanging on but just by a thread.
I pray this devastating depression will lift, so I can have peace when I lay down my head.