deepundergroundpoetry.com
Crestfallen
She ~
bench pressed me
into obsession,
lifting me
UP
too high.
Evidently ~
i was too HEAVY;
the weight of our lust
crushed us,
smothered us, both. . .
when she let go
of the apparatus
that held our vested years
together
only a nonsensical equation:
1 x 1 = zero
became our divided remainder
& common denominator
Published 30th Jan 2020
Author's Note
Posted after Em's encouragement ----
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 15
reading list entries 5
comments 17
reads 1030
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
30th Jan 2020 8:12pm
<< post removed >>
30th Jan 2020 8:14pm
You know You didn't have to RL this.....
(Honored that You have)
My eyes have been wet for a while (since Sunday)
but i DO effin appreciate Your love and encouragement and support -- You and Mikey's
(Honored that You have)
My eyes have been wet for a while (since Sunday)
but i DO effin appreciate Your love and encouragement and support -- You and Mikey's
Anonymous
30th Jan 2020 9:00pm
O M G you are taunting me with that ampersand!
Tallen, that first stanza is pure poetry.
Tallen, that first stanza is pure poetry.
30th Jan 2020 9:05pm
31st Jan 2020 12:59pm
31st Jan 2020 5:42pm
Anonymous
31st Jan 2020 9:22pm
How heavy it is to abandon oneself to the sweet venom of love. When we fall, we fall deep and there is no safety net. But I believe that this is why your spill is so beautiful. Because by free falling for love, you are deemed to enter all its folds and set free, as one possibly can, those emotions, hence becoming poetry. Truly beautiful and heartbreaking.
31st Jan 2020 9:30pm
You have a connection with a universal
love ink.......
Wonderful comments -- thank You
Honored for the RL add
love ink.......
Wonderful comments -- thank You
Honored for the RL add
Anonymous
31st Jan 2020 9:47pm
My pleasure. It is well deserved. It will be read again and again in my dark hours of night because I feel it so deep. Thank you for sharing.
2nd Feb 2020 3:44pm
2nd Feb 2020 3:57pm
3rd Feb 2020 3:13am
Dear T,
Oh this is a week of heartbreak.
Your piece has reeled me in aa though it was a mothership calling. The second stanza rung very true and very relatable for me. You have embraced the emotion and devastation of a breakup so concisely and wonderfully it took my breath away. H🌷
Oh this is a week of heartbreak.
Your piece has reeled me in aa though it was a mothership calling. The second stanza rung very true and very relatable for me. You have embraced the emotion and devastation of a breakup so concisely and wonderfully it took my breath away. H🌷
3rd Feb 2020 3:21am
agree, it HAS been a heavy emotional week
(i'll blame it on the Groundhog)
i am saddened that this spill is so relatable
appreciate You kind comments
Honored for the RL add
(i'll blame it on the Groundhog)
i am saddened that this spill is so relatable
appreciate You kind comments
Honored for the RL add
2nd Mar 2020 6:05pm
2nd Mar 2020 6:09pm
Breaking up is almost always brutal
when both go into its onset all in.
thank You for the kind share
when both go into its onset all in.
thank You for the kind share
19th May 2024 4:06pm
I felt this poem beating in my heart. I'm currently going through a break up now and it sucks. Good luck in the competiton.
20th May 2024 12:34pm
appreciate Your response and hopefully i at least eased
some hurt
some ache
thank You
some hurt
some ache
thank You
