I Hope We Both Die (But You First)

Just as I escape you
You crawl right back in
That same day it burnt down
The home I'd finally found myself in
All out of options
With no place I don't hate
No face I don't want to kiss, when offered only shallow embrace
No one is alone, if I'm ever around
But I'm always left sitting
In my own personal ghost town
No one beside me
Always the third wheel
To people I wish I could make understand
When I say that "I love you"
And I'd done so well
But how far more I could fall
In the mere hours that followed that forty-seven second phone call
And i want to hate you
And to hear that you're dead
But I also want just one fucking time
To lie next to you in your bed
Because you're all I'm deserving
And I know it will hurt
But here we are drowning
And I think that is really all we are worth
But for some satisfaction and for closure
I'll stand on the shore just to watch you drown first
No longer an option, there's no justice to find in this world
And so I'll be long gone
I'll be long gone before you ever hear my words
I hate you like I hate my own self
And I hope your every breath burns like hell
For filling my head with your lies, schemes, and plans
I hope we drown hand-in-cracked, dry junkie hands
And I hope no one wakes you
And I hope that one wakes me
And I hope we will never meet again
Even in hell or purgatory
You'll never get better
I'll always be the same
My principles shattered
And you alone are to blame
So I hope no one wakes you
And I hope no one wakes me
The next time we find those beautiful tar-black serpents
Sinking their teeth into our veins
And I hope I never see you
Unless perhaps at your wake
So I can breathe a sigh of relief
Knowing that is finally the end of your games