deepundergroundpoetry.com
Unexpectedly Unfamiliar
the moon is being stubborn,
refusing to give way
to the rising sun;
she fell asleep on the couch
and it’s a long, cold walk
back to her room;
the sleek new coffee maker
grumbles a sweet good morning
as I sleepily stumble by,
its cycle, comfortably mundane;
dark and warm,
like fresh flannel sheets
and heavy down comforters
pulled tightly up to chins
while the frost creeps
along doors and windows,
searching for bare skin
to land icy kisses upon
the heavy aroma teases
my senses awake;
routine movements reiterated,
providing this framework -
allowing freedom
in these confined spaces
where I keep
the beguiling chaos
of my injured mind
precariously contained
this morning ritual -
ancient in its practice,
flirting with modern esthetic -
my legs curled into the couch,
as reverent a position
as the prostrate prayer,
cup to lips is as seeking
as forehead to the floor;
I pause, beseeching
in my own way -
stealing this moment
to just listen for it,
the underlying wisdom
I’m supposed to be earning;
but there is absolutely nothing -
and the sound is deafening,
unexpectedly unfamiliar
ghosts of small children
dance on the living room rug,
their peals of cherubic laughter
faded and soft, like whispers
caressing my cheeks
with chubby fingers;
I resist instinctual urge
to reach out for them
one more time;
they’re grown now,
no one needs this mama
cleaning the dirt
from their faces,
not anymore or ever again-
not after I so hastily taught
them to do it
all on their own;
there are new smudges
for me to help clean,
but these kind always leave
my hands idle
we’re in uncharted waters,
with a deeper seat
riding every new horizon;
my anchor pulled itself up
while I wasn’t looking,
and I am adrift in this
eerily silent season,
the fear of the unknown
achingly overwhelming -
bittersweet acceptance
is my new resting place
and I have the worst insomnia
refusing to give way
to the rising sun;
she fell asleep on the couch
and it’s a long, cold walk
back to her room;
the sleek new coffee maker
grumbles a sweet good morning
as I sleepily stumble by,
its cycle, comfortably mundane;
dark and warm,
like fresh flannel sheets
and heavy down comforters
pulled tightly up to chins
while the frost creeps
along doors and windows,
searching for bare skin
to land icy kisses upon
the heavy aroma teases
my senses awake;
routine movements reiterated,
providing this framework -
allowing freedom
in these confined spaces
where I keep
the beguiling chaos
of my injured mind
precariously contained
this morning ritual -
ancient in its practice,
flirting with modern esthetic -
my legs curled into the couch,
as reverent a position
as the prostrate prayer,
cup to lips is as seeking
as forehead to the floor;
I pause, beseeching
in my own way -
stealing this moment
to just listen for it,
the underlying wisdom
I’m supposed to be earning;
but there is absolutely nothing -
and the sound is deafening,
unexpectedly unfamiliar
ghosts of small children
dance on the living room rug,
their peals of cherubic laughter
faded and soft, like whispers
caressing my cheeks
with chubby fingers;
I resist instinctual urge
to reach out for them
one more time;
they’re grown now,
no one needs this mama
cleaning the dirt
from their faces,
not anymore or ever again-
not after I so hastily taught
them to do it
all on their own;
there are new smudges
for me to help clean,
but these kind always leave
my hands idle
we’re in uncharted waters,
with a deeper seat
riding every new horizon;
my anchor pulled itself up
while I wasn’t looking,
and I am adrift in this
eerily silent season,
the fear of the unknown
achingly overwhelming -
bittersweet acceptance
is my new resting place
and I have the worst insomnia
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