You're A Sick Fuck

You're a sick fuck….

Watching my moves
through the window panes.

I've spent so much of this life
hiding myself inside so you were
left beating a hollow drum.

It's been so long since I walked away
shielding myself in a crowd,

hoping you never glimpsed me alone.

Many days have passed,
and many months,
a few years

and still you do not remain dormant,
though hell is where you belong.

The voice of a murderer starved for
attention screeches through falsified names

frothing spiteful lies in my ears by the spoonful.

My hauntings are plentiful….

The past seeping its vomit into the future reinstating the fear over mind.

Why do I suffer for the wrong of your?

Why do my scars never remain reminders
but reopen maliciously whenever I attempt normalcy?

Narcissist- someone with an inflated sense of self importance…

see also you…

But this isn't about you,

its about the battle within myself when the past refuses to remain in the trash.

I threw you away,

but someone always picked you out of the heeps,

Not everything is as it appears…

Apparently shit dresses nice, and smiles, promises everything you've wanted,

snags and hooks you and guts you like a fish.

When all that remains is the skeleton of what was , you are disposable,

there are many gullible fish in the sea,
easily manipulated by the initial appearance.

A monster relishes in your failures,

will do everything in its power to scare you away from better.

Better means lack of control….

Thats unacceptable and infuriating….

To be happy beyond the damaged seams.

I was never supposed to be happy only complacent…

The skillet on the back burner, always obliging.

I suck at keeping my mouth shut now that your voice doesn't speak over mine…

Maybe it makes me uncomfortable knowing your perverse eyes follow me through a life you don't belong…

You're a sick fuck…

But you don't stop me anymore!