On Christmas eve Pandora's box gave me a cheat day.(non explicit)

 44th on the way down to the 45th.  
I rang my homie's phone,  
and he Invited me in for a spliff.  
  
I was on the floor.  
   
Torn up.  
Fallen down on loud.  
Falling through the clouds.  
   
Rising to stars.  
Past the hurt.  
Pass the hurt.  
   
Drowning in my tears.  
All these years of rain.  
   
Drowning in these years.  
   
Day by day,  
night goes by then my dreams come false,  
until I make them real.  
   
Withdrawing  from myself.  
Set in stoned.  
Yea I'm thrown for sure.  
   
Stone cold  
   
Couldn't give a what.  
   
Couldn't give a what.  
   
Stone cold  
   
Couldn't give a what.  
   
Couldn't give a what.  
   
Cold  
   
Didn't give a f**k?  
   
   
   
   
On the 24th I got so high it hit me on the 25th.  
If you ain't cheating you ain't trying.  
   
Nature boy  
please pass the f**king spliff.  
   
   
N**ga pass the hurt.  
Please  
It don't hurt.  
   
N**ga pass the hurt.  
   
It don't hurt.  
   
N**ga pass the hurt.  
N**ga  pass the hurt.  
   
Indica  
got me staring walls  
while my soul crawls.  
A n**a feeling foul.  
   
Feeling foul.  
   
I'm so high!  
Im living this regret right now  
   
with a passion.    
Lost in my passion.  
Lost my f**king passion  
walking on these  crutches.  
   
I'm just here  
running from my fears.  
Running with my fears.  
   
Impulse say jump the tracks  
before you pump them breaks.  
   
   
   
   
Cheat Day!  
   
Giving passes out like I roam the Halls.  
   
How many times til I walk the straight and narrow.  
   
I just take my youth for granted.  
   
   
   
Litsten to a ghost when he chopped and screwed.  
   
No lean!  
   
If I did,  
I'd happily die in my dreams.  
   
Down to sickness in my head.  
   
Didn't have to wish that I was dead.  
   
The piff killed my head.  
   
Numbed my f**king soul.  
   
Sugar used to numb my sorrow.  
Living in nostalgia.  
   
X had me rolling down  
   
Molly's hill.  
   
Blue and purple,  
   
Chill.  
   
A whole lot of smiley faces  
had me switching faces.  
   
   
   
Changing paces.  
   
Ice skating,  
   
Nostrils feel like hell.  
   
Crime scene in my nose,  
   
Couldn't get the kill.  
A n**ga couldn't get the kill.  
   
Couldn't get the kill.  
A n**ga couldn't get the kill.  
   
Blood stained Pillow told me see Lucy.  
   
   
   
Change paces.  
   
Lucy blooming.  
   
Head in heaven,  
and hell.  
   
I'm so high,  
I can't tell.  
   
I flew high,  
then I fell.  
   
Pulled by my hair,  
then nibbled on my ear.  
Lucy said,    
   
"Nothing,  
 to fear".  
   
If I had her 100% she'd be my number 1.  
LOVE that is.  
   
Lucy just my side thing.  
   
When it comes to love I'm just BBC and a side piece.    
   
They like the jungle fever.  
Depression got me in a fever.  
   
They like the jungle fever.  
Depression got me in a fevor.  
   
You wouldn't bring me around mom and pop.  
   
They'd just be a shamed that my neck aint snap from a noose  
or the 5.0 didn't had my head popped.  
   
I'm no street n**ga.  
They see a n**ger tho.  
   
   
I'm a shamed that I thought that I could be loved freely for who I'm meant to be,    
what ever that's supposed be.  
   
   
Hulk Hogan said it best,  
'Maybe if he was a Millionare n**ger'.  
Maybe?  
   
It's not my fault the ballers beat me up in school.    
It's not my fault that my mom died contracting HIV while blatently cheating on my dad.  
It's not my fault that cancer beat the sh*t out of dad,  
So he beat the sh*t out of me.  
   
I to this day I hate you for it, but deep down I still understand.  
   
Half and half is my worst flavor.  
I can forgive, yet still hope they burn in hell.  
   
   
Maybe I'm doomed?  
Wish I had some shrooms,  
So I could cry in joy.  
   
5 grams had me feeling sexy.  
   
Had me feeling sexy.  
   
7 grams made my window sexy.  
   
9th storey sexy.  
   
He just trying to test me.  
   
   
   
   
Sh*t don't just happen,    
It develops,  
can even evolve into something new.  
   
Pikachu,  
   
A ni**a miss his Pikachu.  
   
I've seen better days  
not supplied by haze.  
   
Walking on these crutches.  
They got me their clutches.  
I must be cursed.  
   
Throw me in a hearse.  
   
Bury me alive  
with every f**king drug.  
   
Every f**king drug.  
   
It seems that "LOVE" causes more pain than anything these days when you broke and black.  
   
I miss my Pikachu,  
I miss my Pikachu.  
   
Yellow Rat was more real than the "love" that "God" snatched away.  
I mean that sh*t I used to chase around,  
like the holy grail.  
   
   
Now I ride number 2 to my shadows.  
   
Hold me down more than any friend,  
   
Hurt me more than any enemy.  
   
They don't lie to me.  
   
They never ever lied to me.  
   
Even when they choke me out of my sleep.  
   
   
I guess this cheat day was to suppress the withdrawal from my resolve.    
I don't even know why, but I'm still going strong.  
You won't see me down.    
   
Even when I'm being pulled by hordes of shadows you can't see, and the  zombies on the street.  
In my head,  
or real.  
They are in my head,  
and real.  
   
   
This chip ain't come from a certain set of folks but the world set by their predecessors that we live in.    
Succeeded by the blind.  
   
   
I'm just a product of stupid decisions,  
   
Should be dead,    
Serving you my shame on a platter,    
Or in jail.  
   
but I'm still here.  
   
If you couldn't tell I enjoy living in a lie, than being forced upon many of truths.  
It's not my choice tho.  
I'm trying to find my ground.  
No distractions.  
Live by actions.  
Pure intent.  
Do it clean.  
Amazing how some ganja on the 44th got me reminiscing on the 25th.  
   
27 years, and Im still running from my past.  
   
On the 44th to the 45th the ganja brought 27 years worth of sh*t to my front door.  
   
24th to 25th    
Merry Christmas.