deepundergroundpoetry.com
Softened
Her body softened as she closed her eyes
Deep Breathes
Wiggling into comfort as a smile spread across her face
It was instant pleasure
A Safe Place
She felt loved and relaxed
Soft kisses on her right shoulder
Light touches on her breast
Her body softened as she closed her eyes
Deep Breathes
The warmth radiated from her soft brown skin
A delicate hand ran across her thighs
Cold nights were meant for this
She felt free and secure
Her body softened as she closed her eyes
Deep Breathes
Kisses moistened her
Intimacy took over
Wet strokes between her thighs
A moment so intense it curved the spine
Her body softened as she closed her eyes
Deep Breathes
Her chest rose high
Light moans filled the room
Shook with passion deep in her soul
Her body softened as she closed her eyes
Deep Breathes
Emotional while motionless
Sleep settled in
Her body softened as she closed her eyes
Deep Breathes
Deep Breathes
Wiggling into comfort as a smile spread across her face
It was instant pleasure
A Safe Place
She felt loved and relaxed
Soft kisses on her right shoulder
Light touches on her breast
Her body softened as she closed her eyes
Deep Breathes
The warmth radiated from her soft brown skin
A delicate hand ran across her thighs
Cold nights were meant for this
She felt free and secure
Her body softened as she closed her eyes
Deep Breathes
Kisses moistened her
Intimacy took over
Wet strokes between her thighs
A moment so intense it curved the spine
Her body softened as she closed her eyes
Deep Breathes
Her chest rose high
Light moans filled the room
Shook with passion deep in her soul
Her body softened as she closed her eyes
Deep Breathes
Emotional while motionless
Sleep settled in
Her body softened as she closed her eyes
Deep Breathes
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likes 13
reading list entries 2
comments 22
reads 903
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. Softened
22nd Dec 2019 8:22am
Enjoyed the chorus like frequency of the lines:
Her body softened as she closed her eyes
Deep Breathes
The poem is like a breathing exercise in itself, with a partner to dispense the kisses if not also the caresses.
Her body softened as she closed her eyes
Deep Breathes
The poem is like a breathing exercise in itself, with a partner to dispense the kisses if not also the caresses.
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Re: Re. Softened
22nd Dec 2019 8:43pm
Thank you for the feedback. You captured the point of the poem. I wanted it to be form of relaxing exercise with my words.
Re. Softened
22nd Dec 2019 8:16pm
I really enjoyed your writing here. Sensual without being overly erotic...
Thanks for sharing this moment.
Thanks for sharing this moment.
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Re: Re. Softened
22nd Dec 2019 8:47pm
You're most welcome, queen. I hope that you will return the favor and check my out my writings if you find the time 😊
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Re. Softened
23rd Dec 2019 2:34am
That’s totally entrancing and leaves you wanting more, or to know more which is a great thing. May I possibly suggest that the present tense would maybe remove a layer of distance between you and the reader but I’m sure that this poem could not be improved on.
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Re: Re. Softened
23rd Dec 2019 5:52pm
Please all suggestions are welcome. I like the idea of bringing the reader closer! Thank you for the feedback I'm going to play with that idea and see what I get.
Re: Re. Softened
23rd Dec 2019 5:55pm
Re. Softened
23rd Dec 2019 1:14pm
Re: Re. Softened
23rd Dec 2019 5:56pm
Re: Re. Softened
23rd Dec 2019 7:01pm
Re: Re. Softened
23rd Dec 2019 8:33pm
Re: Re. Softened
23rd Dec 2019 8:34pm
Re. Softened
23rd Dec 2019 4:26pm
a strong show of heightened sensuality.....still allowing a calming of an erotic fire. I like this.....
and welcome to the DU 😎
and welcome to the DU 😎
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Re: Re. Softened
23rd Dec 2019 5:58pm
Thank you for the welcome. It feels amazing to be here and share my work with you all. This is a healthy platform to do so I'm excited to share more and get you guys feedback.
Would you mind sharing what you liked most and if any areas of improvement could make it better?
I've been writing for since a child but 2020 is the year I plan to take what I thought was a small hobby and making it something of substance.
Would you mind sharing what you liked most and if any areas of improvement could make it better?
I've been writing for since a child but 2020 is the year I plan to take what I thought was a small hobby and making it something of substance.
Anonymous
- Edited 29th Apr 2020 5:45pm
23rd Dec 2019 6:06pm
<< post removed >>
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Re: Re. Softened
23rd Dec 2019 6:45pm
I really appreciate your feedback and quite frankly I'm so flattered. Would you have imagined that it was another woman who was caressing?
Anonymous
- Edited 29th Apr 2020 5:45pm
23rd Dec 2019 11:09pm
<< post removed >>
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Re. Softened
14th Jan 2020 7:37am
Anonymous
- Edited 6th Dec 2022 00:45am
14th Jan 2020 8:07pm
<< post removed >>
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Re. Softened
19th Apr 2020 1:17am
This has many layers of waiting in anticipation
There's this sense of something about to happen
Yet it has a cliffhanger with an unfinished ending
The torture that writers give to readers with all that is left unsaid
There's this sense of something about to happen
Yet it has a cliffhanger with an unfinished ending
The torture that writers give to readers with all that is left unsaid
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