Voice Issues

I am the voices that scream in my mind
Crying out in terror
PLEASE FREE ME!
I cry back in my heart
I AM ONE WITH YOU
and I CAN NOT FREE YOU AS MUCH AS I CAN NOT FREE MYSELF

I am the flashbacks
That flood my mind
MEN WITH GUNS
LAUGHING AND DRINKING
AND SMOKING
as weary cries burn tired lungs
until they cried no more
until they cannot cry anymore

I am the dreams that torture me at night
Of hands crawling out of graves
Then midgets
Then voices approaching
Trying to overwhelm me
Bury me in their night
So I do not live to see another day

I am the shadows of anxiety I see roaming around me all day
Pointing at me, accusing me
Asking me
“When will you accept that you are a monster?”
Then they would laugh and shout and scream
MONSTER! MoNsTeR! monster!
I have learned a long time ago never to respond to them
But once I did
And they shouted all the more
And I shouted back
And they screamed
And I screamed back
They laughed
And I cried
Then I saw the looks on other people's faces
and I knew what they they thought of me
Hey, Shut Up, I am one with you!

YOU WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING
And now, an all but familiar voice
Taunting my soul
And crushing me again
Still too audible in addition to these other noises
I am one with it too!

I am the voices that haunt me
I am the words I refuse to speak
The very words that my heart shouts out
The very words that play a disturbing discordant tune in my mind
Shouting to be released
And so I isolate myself
In respect of these noises
And in fear, of blurting them out

I have anger issues. Many would say
I have control issues.
I have expression issues.
I have mental issues!

I have voice issues. I would say