To new beginnings

I lay here thinking what I possibly could have done different. The different tones I would have chosen to speak to you, the looks I were to give. I wonder if I changed this couldn’t it all be the same, the way you would look at me and make me feel whole. I wonder what could have been.

I think about the love I had given you, the time and patience I struggled to hold onto. The memories we had created, having to compartmentalize then in a file deep in my brain. Just to forget the love I had been given. I wonder about you, where you are, what your doing. But then wonder turns into worry that turns into pain. The pain I feel because the love that was there is gone.

Did you ever truly loved me the way I loved you? Did you ever look at me with hope and acceptance the way I looked at you. The feeling I would get from being treated like brand new? Did you ever realize the change you had on my heart, to my eyes. For me to see what true love could be.

Then you took it, took it all away as if I was being punished for something I had done. For loving you more then I could ever possible love someone. I play the mind games with my self, the what if games. But then I realize what good does that do. It doesn’t bring me back to you, doesn’t make your love change into good.