deepundergroundpoetry.com
Bright Lights
I stand upon a bright lit stage
I feel naked, expossed
All eyes upon me
Theres no running away,
From these bright lights
I try to move but,
The warmth of the lights seem to bind me
So that I may not escape
The words I were ment to say
stay hidden
Mutted by my fear
To say a wrong line,
Is like a sin
To stand there, not knowing what to do
Is like a curse
All lights on me
All those dam bright lights
Its curtain call
I feel naked, expossed
All eyes upon me
Theres no running away,
From these bright lights
I try to move but,
The warmth of the lights seem to bind me
So that I may not escape
The words I were ment to say
stay hidden
Mutted by my fear
To say a wrong line,
Is like a sin
To stand there, not knowing what to do
Is like a curse
All lights on me
All those dam bright lights
Its curtain call
Published 27th Dec 2011
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likes 4
reading list entries 0
comments 4
reads 783
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Raven heart
Worth the wait.
Utterly beautiful.
Such a powerful theme.
Beautiful idea.
And deft execution.
A memorable read.
Spotted these-
Ment should have been 'Meant'.
'Mutted' should have been 'Muted'.
'Its' should be 'It's', i.e It is...
'Seem' should have been 'seems'
Suggestions: The flow renders
the CAPS in the beginning of the
lines somehow redundant.
'Bright' being an adjective should
have been 'brightly'(If I shun the
idea of poetic license)
"To say a wrong line,
Is like a sin"
-The comma is not necessary here.
Try to see this gem without the
CAPS and see if I make sense.
Bravo.
p.s- If you have not done it,
watch 'Synecdote New York'.
:)
Curtsy,
S'
Worth the wait.
Utterly beautiful.
Such a powerful theme.
Beautiful idea.
And deft execution.
A memorable read.
Spotted these-
Ment should have been 'Meant'.
'Mutted' should have been 'Muted'.
'Its' should be 'It's', i.e It is...
'Seem' should have been 'seems'
Suggestions: The flow renders
the CAPS in the beginning of the
lines somehow redundant.
'Bright' being an adjective should
have been 'brightly'(If I shun the
idea of poetic license)
"To say a wrong line,
Is like a sin"
-The comma is not necessary here.
Try to see this gem without the
CAPS and see if I make sense.
Bravo.
p.s- If you have not done it,
watch 'Synecdote New York'.
:)
Curtsy,
S'
28th Dec 2011 7:59pm
thank you for corecting my spelling errors, but when i say bright it is suppose to be that way and the comma is there just for the dramatic pause..I thank you for your comment
29th Dec 2011 6:42am
no wrong lines here
just play it by ear
and the bright lights will disappear
after the curtain has fallen
just play it by ear
and the bright lights will disappear
after the curtain has fallen
24th May 2012 6:28pm
