like seasons, we change

I read poems that I wrote about you
and realize I still believe
half of all the things I said
most of them about how you make me fear
and how you also make me
smile


made me smile.
I am glancing through broken bottles
and empty cigarette paper trying
to find clues of
who and where I am
while singing songs by the verve
because I start to feel I am
no longer
with you
i look at cut up papers i once tore
to stick on birthday presents for
you
and realize i would lose a lot
more than just you if i
left
but i am now so lost and asking myself if
i am ever ready to be
found again

maybe by you or
someone else?