deepundergroundpoetry.com
Hehe! Death is a laughing experience
Kill
Kill
Kill
Thrill me with gore
Twisted in vore
Taking my form.
Darkness, never to fall:
Givith nothing, give me wrath
Pain that will last!
Kill
Kill
Thrill me with gore
Twisted in vore
Taking my form.
Darkness, never to fall:
Givith nothing, give me wrath
Pain that will last!
Published 27th Dec 2011
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The author encourages honest critique.
27th Dec 2011 9:45am
May I suggest cutting out the 'kills.' I don't think it fits all that well with the rest.
Pretty nice. Looking forward to reading more from you.
Pretty nice. Looking forward to reading more from you.
Anonymous
- Edited 27th Dec 2011 10:12pm
27th Dec 2011 10:11pm
I concur with Carla, you have a pretty good write there, and the "Kill's" seem to change the entire piece. I'll be back for more from you! Al -
P.S. Welcome to DU, good of you to share with us.
P.S. Welcome to DU, good of you to share with us.
