Dear Dad #3

Why couldn't you just try to wait?
Why couldn't you go on a later date?
Why did you have to go at all?
Was it me? Was it all my fault?

Was there anything I could have done?
Could I have even changed the outcome?
Is this all just wishful thinking on my end?
Did you know you were having a grand kid?

Why didn't you wait to meet your grandson?
Didn't you want to see what he'll become?
I'm on my third.
This one is a girl.

Are you going to watch over them?
Do you love all of your grand kids?
Can I get a single damn answer?!
I'm tired of only talking through prayer.

I'd prefer face to face.
You're gone, not a trace.
How am I sure you even existed?
Is my mind continuously tricked?

It feels like no one else remembers you.
How can I be so sure that none of this isn't true?
Is anyone else this hurt by your absence?
Does anyone else hate this distance?

What can I do to get you back?
Is it something that I just lack?
I'd give everything I have for just one day.
Just to see you and your grand kids play.

Is that just too much to ask?
Is it that hard to give you back?
I'm so tired of this.
I don't get my bliss.