A Longing for Autumn

There hasn't been a cloud in the sky
For three weeks or so
I suppose for most this is kind of nice
Nothing of darkness from the heavens
It almost looks like an early autumn
With the leaves falling so early
Though it is from heat and drought
 
 
I scarcely remember what rain feels like
I know it makes me more comfortable
It is when I do most of my dreaming
Sitting near a window listening to drops
Bounce off the rooftop and puddle below
The cold also would be welcome, it seems exciting
A stiff breeze against me  
 
 
I can't explain the weather
I can't explain my mental state
I only know I'll be relieved
When there is a cool breeze and an overcast sunrise
 
Perhaps because the happiest week of my life was rainy and cold, for once i didnt feel alone-
I felt quite alive ( though it was a lie)
It was a false sense of hope
Yet it was dream-like
I don't have the love just a small memory
Of what people who feel loved take for granted
I felt like magic was real and she was enchanted
It was a week worth living for
Now, now it's dry and hellish
There is no rain, no love in the forcast
 
 
I have a life time of nightmares and a week of dreams
I know I may never stop falling.