Try and Make sense of it all

The things in life I will never get is a sense of normalcy and a sense of being normal.
Nothing in my life is ever normal and hardly was never normal to begin with
Mainly because I never got to do the normal things that everyone else has done
My life was messed up from the beginning and still is messed up to this day
Nothing in my life ever makes sense but I sure as hell try to make sense of it all.
It’s like walking into a war zone and never leaving it.
Everything about me is a disaster from the get go
No one has ever tried to straighten it all out
Those that tried end up failing cause no one could never make sense of the mess I am in
No one could ever figure out how to make sense of the mess I am in
Not even I could figure out how I got in this mess in the first place but I sure got into it
Getting in was easy but getting out is the next challenge I am working on.
Trying to make sense of how I got in so deep and how I can get out of it all
How my life was so screwed up and how I missed so many opportunities in life
I’m trying to figure it all that out as I am in the middle of my life and what’s left of it
What’s left of my life is what’s around me and what little I have or I can do
All because I never had a normal life to begin with
Never had the right opportunities handed to me
I was always deprived of all the normal things in life cause I was not privileged enough
I was not even born in the right class or society.
I even didn’t live in the right environment
I pretty much tried to live my life to the best way I can
Even if I was knocked down a few notches
But I still made the most with what I had and what was around me.
Even though at times I wallow in the things I could, would and should have gotten in life
I never forget that things could be far worse on the other side than the one I am in now
I make the most with what I have and play with the cards I am dealt with
I wouldn’t trade those cards for all the money in the world cause they ain’t worth my life
I just play with what I have and learn to play with them very well.
It’s why normalcy is a gift I wish I had but it’s something I will never obtain as long as I am still alive
It’s why my life was screwed up in the beginning and it’s always gona be screwed up in the end.
Nothing will ever change that cause it’s already been written in to me
The only thing I can change is what I can move forward with
I can try to make some sense of normalcy in my messed up life
Try to open doors when every door in my life was slammed hard on me
Even make my own door for me to open and enter.
It’s why I play with what I have and don’t play with what I don’t have
Cause you can’t play with what you don’t have out of thin air
You can only play with whatever cards you have
You better play them very well cause you only get one shot
Cause when that concrete settles, there's no going back