Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
16th Sep 2019 9:05pm
this spill had me grinning
(You kind of reminded me of a spill i posted called -- A Pittsburg Rare -- of course i was talking about steak not seafood)
Clever spill
(You kind of reminded me of a spill i posted called -- A Pittsburg Rare -- of course i was talking about steak not seafood)
Clever spill
16th Sep 2019 9:31pm
17th Sep 2019 3:26am
your title worked to grab my attention with its bright colour
L1 allowed me to play with 'your/you're', adding layers
L2 creates angles and texture
L3 is a smile to read
small, neat, crablike. my mind prefers 'you're' for that first line as it elevates but the room (and invitation) to allow the mind to make those connections is welcome :) i like this little crabby poem!
L1 allowed me to play with 'your/you're', adding layers
L2 creates angles and texture
L3 is a smile to read
small, neat, crablike. my mind prefers 'you're' for that first line as it elevates but the room (and invitation) to allow the mind to make those connections is welcome :) i like this little crabby poem!
17th Sep 2019 4:43am
Wonderful suggestion and tour of your reading process. I love it here because of moments like this, butters!
17th Sep 2019 4:45am
17th Sep 2019 5:05am
without the line gapping :)
not sure you need to cap all the line-starts but that's entirely your choice. For me, it changes the follow-on nature of each image, separates them... makes for 3 thoughts/images slightly less integrated as a complete theme. Still works as a poem, just a slightly different one.
Think I'm trying to say the last line comes across as something harder than before. Isn't it funny how the smallest changes can alter the whole feel of a piece?
Whatever works for you
not sure you need to cap all the line-starts but that's entirely your choice. For me, it changes the follow-on nature of each image, separates them... makes for 3 thoughts/images slightly less integrated as a complete theme. Still works as a poem, just a slightly different one.
Think I'm trying to say the last line comes across as something harder than before. Isn't it funny how the smallest changes can alter the whole feel of a piece?
Whatever works for you
