Priority #0

Everyone I tell my side of our story too  
Tells me it’s emotional abuse  
And
I could never look at it that way, I could never say you emotionally abused me  

There were times when i was younger that I thought I would never allow myself to be put in the position.  
I’m to smart to be put there, I’m to grounded  
I’m too high spirited, I’ve brought myself from the ground up no one can take this away from me I’ve earned this title  
 Ive been through to much to say I’m broken and continue to let people break me  
I am to strong to admit to being crushed in the palm of your hand  
 
Except every time I bring you up, I talk about the things I allowed you to get away with I am reminded that I allowed you to abuse me  
Not psychically but emotionally  
You were looking for someone to love you unconditionally and that’s all I know how to do, you throw irrelevant sentences in my face as if to tell me I am fucked  
 
I don’t need you to remind me I remember every day.  
 You tell me there were so many of your friends saying for you to not talk to me again  
And yet here you are  
As if to say you don’t care what they think but when you throw that in my face everyday it is no longer a compliment  
But a reminder that you don’t need to be here  
And neither do I  
As you know I have never been one to beg for attention, never been the one to look for you  
If you want to be here then be here,  
If not I will continue  
And I can’t help but think that hurts you  
You’re so used to girls fanning themselves over thinking of you that me being able to live without your constant attention and affection buried your ego  
I cannot apologize for that.  
You will need to learn to live with that.  
I will however never name you as the bad guy  
My brain comes up with excuses like “he has growing to do”  
“He doesn’t know how to be an adult in a relationship” but that isn’t it  
You make time for the people you wish to make time for and if you do not care you do not make time for them  
And that is why I would never be a priority  
Always a 11pm text asking if I’m busy  
Never an 11am text asking if I’d like to make plans  
I was always your back up plan and you painfully made it obvious with or without your consent  
I could tell.