"Just Like The Crow Chasing A Butterfly"

Sweet nectar please succumb to the air that so yearns to trace across my stinging wounds; but not too hastily for we wouldn't want you to stumble.
I held his hand, fingers intertwined, but felt the same numbness I've felt for men over the past six to five years, though I want to feel something because I know he feels something I cry because o cannot and I'm only getting his hopes up, afraid to say 'no'.
Cooing black crow why must you be so far away from the spying eyes of myself, wouldn't I love to wake up to those green eyes everyday, but I must keep my hushing voice down from those words and those never buried feelings.
I couldn't help but to think of you, to smile while doing so to say in the least, sitting at the table in the lofty kitchen while I place a plate of eggs next to the mug of blueberry coffee; where you wrap your arms around me, pulling me into a kiss.
The lonely is eating you I see and even though I said I'd hold you, you didn't know I meant as a love because somehow the tides won't go down to where they need to be.
Dripping in the back of my throat and my eyes feel so damned tired, won't you, sweet dear, scoop me up and lay me to bed; you don't have to hold me if you don't want to just let me know you're there.
Red birds follow along the paths I've created in the skin on my body and I remember the softness of your pink petal lips as you kissed each cut and scar, as another did but she's far from my mind.
I can't breathe when you're around because you take it away and that hot feeling gets caught in my chest so I have to look away, smiling, because I fear I wasn't joking when I said I loved you.
Oh dear.
What have I said?
Marbles, marbles I've lost my marbles.
Please, I beg thee, do forget.
This wasn't supposed to be.
Only because
You'd never believe me.