deepundergroundpoetry.com
Broken Women
We’ve lost good women
to The Battle of BROKEN
dropped their shields
gripped their heels
got tired of hopin’
lost too many women
lost too many women
crossed when they driven
torn when they were givin’
scarred till they were hidden
till death do they part
fists bleed from broken mirrors
like her shattered heart
she grieves till it gets clearer
but than it’s back at start
her friends told her to leave him
but she couldn’t break her vows
with his ring around her neck
where do we draw the line between commitment and self-respect?
what type of image is she trying to project?
her daughter paints pictures
of her in black and blue
told her teachers that home
was the fucking zoo
he gave her flowers
to say he’s sorry
only while she’s half buried
in the bathroom floor
there is only so much shit a woman can endure
No more!
I’ve brought some women back to LIFE
when they thought their only option
was a kitchen knife
when they thought they wouldn’t make it through the night
you don’t know what love is
what having to step over a trail of blood is
what having to pull her body in depression out of a tub is
It’s not enough to call her beautiful
when she’s been beaten and branded
when he’s cheating and candid
I’ve spent so much time
mending malice,
sucking poisons out of women’s lips so they could speak of their passions again
so they can be strong
if they ever pass him again
nearly lost a good woman to The Battle of Broken
stepped in made her feel like a token
complimented depths that were never once spoken
first time her daughter actually saw her smiling and joking
Lost too many women
Lost too many women
had to cross so many women
hold them in my linen
show them they’re a vision
give them new provisions
free them from their prisons
Till we’ve won that fucking Battle of Broken
IG: Nourish_Cruz
to The Battle of BROKEN
dropped their shields
gripped their heels
got tired of hopin’
lost too many women
lost too many women
crossed when they driven
torn when they were givin’
scarred till they were hidden
till death do they part
fists bleed from broken mirrors
like her shattered heart
she grieves till it gets clearer
but than it’s back at start
her friends told her to leave him
but she couldn’t break her vows
with his ring around her neck
where do we draw the line between commitment and self-respect?
what type of image is she trying to project?
her daughter paints pictures
of her in black and blue
told her teachers that home
was the fucking zoo
he gave her flowers
to say he’s sorry
only while she’s half buried
in the bathroom floor
there is only so much shit a woman can endure
No more!
I’ve brought some women back to LIFE
when they thought their only option
was a kitchen knife
when they thought they wouldn’t make it through the night
you don’t know what love is
what having to step over a trail of blood is
what having to pull her body in depression out of a tub is
It’s not enough to call her beautiful
when she’s been beaten and branded
when he’s cheating and candid
I’ve spent so much time
mending malice,
sucking poisons out of women’s lips so they could speak of their passions again
so they can be strong
if they ever pass him again
nearly lost a good woman to The Battle of Broken
stepped in made her feel like a token
complimented depths that were never once spoken
first time her daughter actually saw her smiling and joking
Lost too many women
Lost too many women
had to cross so many women
hold them in my linen
show them they’re a vision
give them new provisions
free them from their prisons
Till we’ve won that fucking Battle of Broken
IG: Nourish_Cruz
Published 4th Sep 2019
| Edited 14th Sep 2019
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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comments 5
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
4th Sep 2019 7:34pm
Yes. I volunteered for a battered women's shelter for over a decade. It's so heartbreaking what a domestic violence environment does to women and children.
I'm happy to read you give them hope. Not many do. Or, care enough to.
I'm happy to read you give them hope. Not many do. Or, care enough to.
4th Sep 2019 11:26pm
Thank you. I try to write about topics that most shy away from yet are important to address.
7th Sep 2019 11:59am
Hello Nourish,
I enjoyed reading your poem, and it is good that you are able to write about such topics. Poetry is powerful, and when people read and hear your words, the message is spread, and change happens.
Here are some suggestions.
In the first two stanzas, it might have more impact by moving one of the lines "lost too many women":
We’ve lost good women
lost too many women
to The Battle of BROKEN
dropped their shields
gripped their heels
got tired of hopin’
lost too many women
"fist bleed from broken mirrors" might be better with plural "fists ..."
"but than it’s back at start" <--- should "than" be "then"? (and also maybe "... THE start"
"but she couldn’t break the her vows" <----- omit "the" .... "... break her vows"
"what to have to step over a trail of blood is" is awkward. Maybe try "what having to step over trails of blood is"
And the final two stanzas, perhaps move one line to the end ...
Lost too many women
had to cross so many women
hold them in my linen
show them they’re a vision
free them from their prison
Lost too many women
Hope that your poem makes a positive difference to someone somewhere.
I enjoyed reading your poem, and it is good that you are able to write about such topics. Poetry is powerful, and when people read and hear your words, the message is spread, and change happens.
Here are some suggestions.
In the first two stanzas, it might have more impact by moving one of the lines "lost too many women":
We’ve lost good women
lost too many women
to The Battle of BROKEN
dropped their shields
gripped their heels
got tired of hopin’
lost too many women
"fist bleed from broken mirrors" might be better with plural "fists ..."
"but than it’s back at start" <--- should "than" be "then"? (and also maybe "... THE start"
"but she couldn’t break the her vows" <----- omit "the" .... "... break her vows"
"what to have to step over a trail of blood is" is awkward. Maybe try "what having to step over trails of blood is"
And the final two stanzas, perhaps move one line to the end ...
Lost too many women
had to cross so many women
hold them in my linen
show them they’re a vision
free them from their prison
Lost too many women
Hope that your poem makes a positive difference to someone somewhere.
9th Sep 2019 3:22am
Thank you so much! You are so good at suggestions and catching my silly mistakes. I appreciate your help. I’m going to perform it this week. Hopefully it can heal someone.
9th Sep 2019 7:51am
