It ends how it starts

I end each day the same way I start
Every day that I start I got a lot on my heart
 My mind fell apart from my failure to depart
 I see the scars and the marks from the sparks in the dark
 Like the bites from a dog that fights with no bark
 Standing still on this spinning sphere
 Looking back in retrospect as the cloudiness clears
 All the years and the tears and the beers got me here
 God's my only fear he's the maker I'm the made
 In my cave I'm a slave to the shade it comes in waves
 Craves last for days from the cradle to the grave
 I'll be brave until I'm slayed and where I'm laid is where I'll stay
 The day my life is lost
 my soul is found to still be saved
 Going down like a fly in a flame
 In need of a change
 Pills kill the time
 and the will to feel the pain
 I need an end game every day is spilled the same
 I can't pass the blame I've got to own it like my name
 Life is a gift you only get one shot
 I'm gonna ride this bitch until the wheels fall off
 Until my eyes close shut
 as I'm breathing my last cough
 Like telekinetic osmosis
 My premeditated prognosis
 Is self medicated diagnosis
 To a disease that's so atrocious
 There will be no doctor fees for me
 Just down this slippery slope I ski
 Once a seed inside of me
 Is now a tree that springs from me
 With descending leaves
 That will not leave
 The roots go deep inside of me
 Seemingly where my eyez can't see
 Unfortunately for me I broke the key
 The key that unlocks the spoken remedy
 That is my enemy
 That is inside of me
 That I can not free
 That I've become to be
 Please pray for me as I prey on me
 That my will won't flee
 As I've turned on me
 What's got into me
 Will be the end of me
 In the end for me
I end each day the same way I start
 Every day that I start I got a lot on my heart
 My mind fell apart from my failure to depart
 and when all is said and done
 It never ends
 How it
 Starts