deepundergroundpoetry.com
Depletion
And in this bout with listless boredom, nihilistic feeling and depression,
I find myself on the floor.
I stare cold.
In transgressing naked, mindless insatiable anger,
I dropped to my knees.
I am lost.
Is this all there is?
All these material and familial items just physics and chemistry.
Biomechanical system of intelligence simply resisting the drive to the grave.
Tell the reason we live for?
Tell me why I am here.
Give me reason for existence.
I have this insatiable hunger.
Is it to understand, is it to have a meaning for the existence which I dwell?
This humanity, this blood in my veins, this perception of life sickens me.
The cosmic beauty of a world so harsh yet so amazing.
This body is so capable, so fragile, so strong.
The emotions, feelings and senses.
It will all fade.
After all this time, what is there. What will I be worth in 25, 50, 100 years.
Worthless? It all disappears.
This mind and body of mine. They don't give a fuck anymore.
I'm tired of this slow passage to death.
I want to just overdose and die with fireworks in my ass.
Because it's all a joke to me.
Nothing I value.
I find myself on the floor.
I stare cold.
In transgressing naked, mindless insatiable anger,
I dropped to my knees.
I am lost.
Is this all there is?
All these material and familial items just physics and chemistry.
Biomechanical system of intelligence simply resisting the drive to the grave.
Tell the reason we live for?
Tell me why I am here.
Give me reason for existence.
I have this insatiable hunger.
Is it to understand, is it to have a meaning for the existence which I dwell?
This humanity, this blood in my veins, this perception of life sickens me.
The cosmic beauty of a world so harsh yet so amazing.
This body is so capable, so fragile, so strong.
The emotions, feelings and senses.
It will all fade.
After all this time, what is there. What will I be worth in 25, 50, 100 years.
Worthless? It all disappears.
This mind and body of mine. They don't give a fuck anymore.
I'm tired of this slow passage to death.
I want to just overdose and die with fireworks in my ass.
Because it's all a joke to me.
Nothing I value.
Published 7th Jan 2010
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7th Jan 2010 3:44pm
very dark, depressive poem. that's why i like it; i like the growth of intensity as you read it through. also i like described feelings of lost and uselessness, smallness - mixture of grey and red colours. you go deeper into yourself; so called your inner self as you carry on writing
7th Jan 2010 5:54pm
Thanks. I feel like everything in the world is one giant void of mass sometimes. Just anti-climatic and dull.
But I still have the hunger for knowledge.
But I still have the hunger for knowledge.
7th Jan 2010 6:58pm
sometimes it is: cruel reality washes our brains. but, i guess, that's the price 21st century has to pay. dullness and stupidity are around us, degradation. hard to keep yourself alive. spiritually alive, i mean. depression is the other side of happiness therefore it goes in a same complex named HAPPINESS.
8th Jan 2010 3:46pm
I'm not really depressed, I'm just, idk, not in tune with the world I guess. Like I'm here and the world is over there, and I look at it and don't want to be a part of it. I think everything is 2d, has no dimension or point.
