Words Betray

My words are poison
So I swallow them
Dissonance down the esophagus
Death
Drowning
Dreaming
Rattling my soul about this empty shell
Plastered legs, empty bottles
Remind me of those comforts
The warm bath, the ovarian lights, the sweet surrender of sleep
The silent misery
The taste of isopropyl alcohol that chases each glass
And mingles with the dissonance
Slows my consciousness clears my vision
Slouched against the hub-cap outside coffee shop
Watching evaporating shadows

So now you know
Now you know the bitterness of my utterance
The regret that accompanies each syllable
The fear of rejection
The disgust of fame and pity
I’ve driven people away with my words
Captivated them and amused them
They have defended me and betrayed me
Given flavor to my life and yet
Left me so hollow

04-23-09