demerol

    
carve your place in my heart from winter  
the day cried bitterly...you escaped my cold kiss  
I languish in darkness the sun never set on my passion  
stoically I held on to days past...would you return?  
  
whiskey'd and inconsolable my womb remembers just where you fit
Russian roulette of the soul...pull the trigger baby it's my turn again  
Demerol dreaming I nod off...click goes the gun  
   
you pulled my wings off to watch me die slow  
a disgraced fairy who never made it to the safety of Neverland  
suicide would only prove you right  
you keep me bound to the night you found me shaken and alone  
   
terracotta mosaics dyed with menstrual blood  
my thinly veiled artistry...you never got it  
it's what keeps me living day and day out  
created from the mucus, cum, and sweat of me  
   
my frailty is there too but you know that all too well  
don't pick at the string it will all unravel  
my sanity is hanging by a lone lightbulb--    
dangling from a hangman's noose  
you dare me to jump--  
in essence, kicking the chair out from under me  
   
we swallowed our fears with a bottle of vodka  
and plummeted back to Earth  
where it's your finger itching to pull the trigger--    
on my birdsong feelings  
   
it's only in the early mornings  
you just don't get it, daddy,  
I pray to the gods for an immortal love  
   
hollow dreams keep me living  
when you don't really mean it