On Cutter Street

On Cutter Street  
after Dad left  
like the world was deaf for me  
I would cut cut cut  
deep and shallow  
deep and shallow  
flirting  
one step  
from a bleed too far  
 
The fine lines  
they're all healing now  
For the moment  
there is no cure  
but there's different veils    
of secrecy  
  
Another week  
another blade  
another sink of bad feelings  
swirling down Mom's drains  
  
I always clean  
right under my nails  
so no-one ever knows  
not a spot on her  
precious rug  
  
"OK Mom - I'll be down soon"  
  
But if she really looked  
at the deepest cuts  
she'd see they're open wide
while I walk round  
She'd feel them bleeding  
every day  
so it's not as if she cares  
that I'm always  
hanging out  
by myself...