Father figure

I never intended to be no father figure but I was intended to be a father/
 but I'm not being a dad and it's by this fact that I'm bothered /
I rather be a better dad figure something similar to how my pops was/
 cuz I was fortunate to get to experience what a pops was/
 I miss having my pops love, I miss it so much/
 but I'm the man I am today because he taught me so much/
he said be careful who you trust and know this world is corrupt/
 most times I listened, one time I didn't, and ended up in handcuffs/ then to jail then to prison that was the first of worst decisions/
 I went to church my first religion was Christian or at least I thought it was /but that was at a time I was trying to be who I thought I was/
 caught up with those I thought I loved only to find/
 now when I look back at my past, they was a waste of my time/
at that time having a child had no place in my mind/
 see when you gotta face yourself it's hard to face you at times/
 but if you can't face yourself, that means you're fake in your lying /
who can I blame for my misfortune? It was me that caused these mishaps/ but this time they're giving us in these courts needs to be looked at/ scrutinized, because there's a difference between the truth and lie's/ if not back by proofs then the truth is for who to decide/
 these days I'm humble you can say I'm losing my pride /
my life's a Jungle, sometimes I feel I'm losing inside/
trying to stay focused still I gotta make moves on the side/
 despite my struggle I'm not contemplating suicide/
 don't know my destiny but trust in Allah as my guide/
I'm not being the dad cuz access is being denied/.........

Written by:
AQ