In a Lonely Room

In a Lonely Room


Sitting in the empty room took another long drink from the bottle of whisky
knew drinking alone was quit risky in my depressed state
And was far beyond caring, far beyond giving a damn
Looking back on my life, and my loss all could see it was all fore nothing
No one looking in could see
How my life lay among the debris
Of what should have been but time had showed me it would never be
Pure agony and in the deep hurt felt in side of myself

I look around the room in the closest hung clothes and a gun I bought  
Most of my thoughts were to use and end this unbearable pain  
A stereo on a table set for our favorite station
The music was playing our favorite song The Yellow Rose of Texas  
In the corner was TV on
I watch but not see what's playing  
On the other side of the room was my bed
Where alone I cry and bellow at night

Yes at a quick glance it all looks normal, but take a closer look
It's easy to see like all the stacks of books
On the walls were nothing hangs
They are blank, there plain
No posters, not one pictures, no happy memories to look back on
Yes look close enough you can see something is all wrong

Finally I had enough liquid courage
To finally end all my troubles and worries
I go to the closest reaches up on the top shelf
Taking down my revolver and hold it to my head

With shaking hands I retrieves the bullets from the dresser drawer
Every inch of the barrel my fingers explore
I load one bullet into each camber, cock the hammer and spins it
Going to let the Gods and fate decide  

I raise  the cold unfeeling gun to my temple
My hand was now steady not even a tremble
Very slowly I pulled the trigger
Not stopping to consider what I was doing

The gun misfired heard a soft but stern voice
Say this not the way give life one more change
I fell to my knees cried like a baby okay I will  

May 30 1990

By nutbuster