porcelain fractures

I like to see another writer with the same frame of mind.. When you use parentheses what effect are you trying to create? I love the lines

..(i adored)..
..(every moment)..
..(of you)..
..(shattering me)..

I'm really glad you dig my stuff.. yes shattering.. both the good part of the relationship and the end.. both are powerful and have that shattering effect.. just different values.. I think I was talking about the end in this poem.. the parenthesis are like to slow it down.. to a whisper.. like an after thought.. not a direct statement.. as if in a dream with the subtleties there cheers!!

its pure poetry, beautifuland amazing.

:D ty so much honey always kind words from you thank you for reading my crazy shit hehe

Agree with Priya, an amazing piece. The brutality astounds, and the rhythm is very well assured. Perfectly encapsulates the feeling I imagine murderer's experience once the deed has been performed.

thanks man!! yes the rhythm.. very important in writing I think.. and not usually done well.. I think I've got it down to second nature.. I know the piece needs to flow a certain way.. I don't count words or syllables and I don't rhyme (most people are fucking horrible at that) but I just know there needs to be that smooth flow to the whole thing.. and now I just know when it's "right".. cheers!!