Death Is Easy

I googled my mind      
but then it cRASheD,      
deleted  words ,      
unabashed.      
I sp0ke some words        
but it came out wrong ,      
It sounded like a broken song.      
An alphabet where "Z" comes first ,      
with some numbers throw in with every verse.      
         Doctors ask ;      
       "what's my name,        
       who's  the president"        
............Is this a game?      
Images in the mirror fill me with fear,      
Why do I walk around with no underwear?      
A well written poem lies on an old table,      
A document of proof that you were once stable.      
The long goodbye couldn't come sooner,      
You got a visit from an Aunt Frunner.      
Hello in there do you remember me?      
I answer , " little girl, hulla hoop and Anthony."      
DAzEd And cONFused  use to be a song,        
now people know it's my new norm.      
If this is not living and this is not death,      
Why do I feel like I don't exist?      
People tell me I use to pray,      
Mary, Jesus & Joseph all went away,  If my Savior can save  
.......then why am I so depraved ?