An Apology

This is something I need to do.
I know I promised I would stop,
or at least try,
but life's just become too much.

Too much to handle,
too much to live for.
Too much to even care about.

You don't understand
what I'm going through.
Every day I have to struggle,
just to leave my own bed.
Every day I have to push thoughts
and feeling farther into the back of my mind.
It's just
too
much.

I hate disappointing you over and over
but I'm at desperation.
I feel like if I don't do this,
I'll fall to pieces.
Or maybe,
do something worse.

Don't worry though,
because remember,
I'm

always

safe.