memory of love

i love the way how your happiness surrounds me i remember the first time you finally kissed me back that night felt like time stop perfectly like how the rays of the moon crept in those blinds i couldn’t see a thing but just kept closing my eyes as i felt those soft lips pressed back on mines and how i look at you that night laying in your bed baby i loved the way you gave me hope but i lost myself in way drowning is these problems saying i don’t know who i am selfish for me to say you was the reason for my actions i made but i changed and lost it doing bad things i was feeling helpless baby please every time i lost you i was missing something but didn’t know what it was come on alexis what are you doing i felt so guilty making the choices i did when we fell off i just wanted to feel something again maybe if i can’t it from you i thought maybe i can pleasure from someone else thought i was in love with somebody else but truth is i wasn’t i just wanted lust and love filling in the missing thing i wanted pleasure and love and someone there damn we grew apart so i thought i could in someone like her back and forth i couldn’t make up my mind you playing with my head ugh it’s tearing me apart i didn’t know what to say pressured who it was gonna be right then and there so i pushed all my feelings to the side hide all the pain i had inside and kissed you and kissed why i came back cause i know i wouldn’t nothing without you okay alexis close your eyes with you kiss her come on feelings where you at come back up what if i open my eyes and stare at you while i kiss you but the feelings still wasn’t there baby i’m sorry i wouldn’t know all the pain you had in there baby i’m sorry please forgive one more fine baby all i wanted was kaylin there i lost everything with luck faith in god where is everything and everyone when i was stuck depressed and stressed school got the best of me i hated that night i seen her felt the guilt coming home talking to you scared i didn’t want you to leave i swear i swear i wanted the same night it went down i was just to scared to put you all of this again god i’m stupid causing you more pain then i did not telling you what are you doing you really gotta be stupid i told myself that night i knew i hurt you so bad so much pain i couldn’t imagine you went through god I’m a just a coward quitting my job lost it all in one night i know if i didn’t have you i didn’t want nothing else so i just thought it was best for my to die tossing and turning in that rehab bed torturing my mind with my mistakes maybe i deserve it hell i risked it all and put us at stake couldn’t believe you would even take a fool like me back but i change with i left the scene got stronger and just want you again i wanted you to make me feel like something again baby my wifey be mines again and there you go did it again you got tears coming out my eyes why so much kindness in you my beautiful wifey marry me please you my soul to my touch the craving i want baby i’m so fucking sorry for all the bs i put you through i love you my queen.