deepundergroundpoetry.com
MILES TO GO BEFORE WE WAKE
spinning silky threads
nets and trip wires
catch each other
often as we can
lives play out
there is no time
but afterhours
thought transference
hit send on
dream password
reminder before bed
can’t solve for receptivity
don’t kick self for
perceived deficiency
meditation = practice
past is precedent
gently opening
sleep blossom:
my satellite dish
for you
#napowrimo2019
nets and trip wires
catch each other
often as we can
lives play out
there is no time
but afterhours
thought transference
hit send on
dream password
reminder before bed
can’t solve for receptivity
don’t kick self for
perceived deficiency
meditation = practice
past is precedent
gently opening
sleep blossom:
my satellite dish
for you
#napowrimo2019
Published 6th Apr 2019
Author's Note
Multiversing
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 0
comments 6
reads 532
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
6th Apr 2019 8:45pm
"Question: is it better without the last stanza? It's meaningful to me, but I'm not entirely sure it helps the poem."
I think it's better without the last stanza because it reads a bit like "telling" and "explaining" to the reader what it's all about - I suggest let them have their own thoughts ending on "my satellite dish / for you" (IMHO). Would be interested to know what other readers think so will come back tomorrow.
I think it's better without the last stanza because it reads a bit like "telling" and "explaining" to the reader what it's all about - I suggest let them have their own thoughts ending on "my satellite dish / for you" (IMHO). Would be interested to know what other readers think so will come back tomorrow.
6th Apr 2019 8:47pm
6th Apr 2019 9:10pm
6th Apr 2019 9:19pm
6th Apr 2019 10:07pm
Anonymous
- Edited 30th Jan 2023 2:45pm
8th Apr 2019 3:37am
<< post removed >>
