deepundergroundpoetry.com
A Pledge of Touch
Positioned perfectly
awaiting mastery
the scent of aloe
drizzled beautifully and tactfully
over each slope
A woman in charge
hands pressed to skin
over
and
under
every inch of his canvas
The whispers and moans
while running a nipple over his cheeks
sliding over his body
skin melted together as one
Holding a cock
his pleasure at my mercy
he thrusts himself through my fingers,
holds his breath
and like artwork,
breaks free...
The beauty of an avalanche
cascading down a mountain slope
Published 2nd Apr 2019
Author's Note
I forgot myself. Then I remembered: Wow!
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 2
comments 8
reads 850
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
2nd Apr 2019 7:48pm
3rd Apr 2019 7:29am
3rd Apr 2019 7:32am
Anonymous
2nd Apr 2019 8:20pm
<< post removed >>
3rd Apr 2019 7:36am
Hey li'l lady
This piece is peppered with lust. Yet describes a beautiful love in it's undertones.
I've read it a few times and I can't offer you any valuable critique on this but I'll happily share my favourite parts with you...
The very first line... Is engaging and hooked me into the read immediately, while as a reader you have no idea what the rest of the poem will be about... It sets up an image in the mind that lingers. Who would have thought that two words could have such significant impact on the story.
The description of the oil drizzling was masterful it creates a hot image while not even mentioning the word oil at all. Fantastic metaphoric value!
I loved that you described your victim as a canvas and ALL the art references are fantastic. I love how those references match your profile.
In the heat of your poem I was so glad you said "Cock" and not some soft or silly desription. It gave the protagonist authority in her actions.
But the closing! The closing line Pixel.
"
The beauty of an avalanche
cascading down a mountain slope "
The highlight of this poem for me. I loved it! It is memorable and a beautifully descript image.
This is one lucky victim and I'm better off for having read your wonderful poem.
Blue Skies at you
Love
Al
This piece is peppered with lust. Yet describes a beautiful love in it's undertones.
I've read it a few times and I can't offer you any valuable critique on this but I'll happily share my favourite parts with you...
The very first line... Is engaging and hooked me into the read immediately, while as a reader you have no idea what the rest of the poem will be about... It sets up an image in the mind that lingers. Who would have thought that two words could have such significant impact on the story.
The description of the oil drizzling was masterful it creates a hot image while not even mentioning the word oil at all. Fantastic metaphoric value!
I loved that you described your victim as a canvas and ALL the art references are fantastic. I love how those references match your profile.
In the heat of your poem I was so glad you said "Cock" and not some soft or silly desription. It gave the protagonist authority in her actions.
But the closing! The closing line Pixel.
"
The beauty of an avalanche
cascading down a mountain slope "
The highlight of this poem for me. I loved it! It is memorable and a beautifully descript image.
This is one lucky victim and I'm better off for having read your wonderful poem.
Blue Skies at you
Love
Al
Anonymous
- Edited 23rd Aug 2019 11:45pm
16th May 2019 2:18pm
<< post removed >>
