Absentee Father

Just another day without a dad
Man he left me for drugs
What did I do that was so bad
He’s the one who left and yet
 Im the one over here blaming myself
What’s up with that
Maybe i’m the one smoking crack
But no matter what I still can’t let go
I let the heartache show
Even though he’s gone
So it’s not like he’ll ever know
How him leaving made me feel
Irrelevant unimportant
Man I just can’t deal
I need a way out
A way to cop
A way to heal
I just wanna feel loved again
Someone please tell me what the fuck I did
I just wanna hide in a corner and cry
The thought of me making him leave
Man I really wanna die
But I just can’t get myself to turn out the lights
So at night when I lay down I pray and ask why
I say “God why did I make my father leave?
What did I do that caused him to grief?
He turned to drugs is it all because of me?”
Sometimes I still cry myself to sleep
It’s been years and still I’ve received
No answers that can help me see
Why did my dad chose drugs over me?
If I could just ask him one question
That’s what it would be
And if there’s ever a next time
Dad, Please choose me