Crazy Thoughts

I have thoughts I am scared to write
If I put them down will that bring them to light
Do you need space to end the fight
Find your missing piece that might
Fill in the space that cries at night

You speak on a time you missed
A solo experience
Without the stress of marriage
Is that what you wish
To figure out that time period

Maybe it’s for the best
Maybe I forced you into this
Why stay if pain is all you have left
You don’t have to do this
You can choose to try something else

Let me be alone to be
Just a man who wanted to be
The best I could for our family
Still not able to get through to me
Maybe I am just to weak and did not see
You may have never wanted me

Just stuck to accept the terms
In a situation that looks better
Why turn down a love letter
Even if you never wanted to read
Accepting love can get easy
Giving it is different I see

Giving, forgiving, and living for you has been real
Maybe I was wrong
Giving all my energy to someone
Who only wanted to use me for real
Until you received
All that you could until I am empty

What will I have left for me
Nothing but a broke heart and left empty
Was I not meant to see
True love returned to me
Why have my ancestors forsaken me

Or was I just to blind to see
Trying live by my father’s words
Wanting to build what I heard
Find a good woman and stick by her
Those were his words

I followed and stayed true
I have done my best to live by you
This woman does not want me to be
The man you raised because she pushes me
To be the man who raised her

So she can feel comfortable hurt
Love can be strange in place of hurt
Get use to a stabbing feeling
You may miss it when it stops to hurt
So this is worst

Living in the dark unknown by love
Just being used until I am used up
I hope I have made life better for her
She will live on happy I am sure
I have helped you find a large piece of yourself
Now it just time for you to find the rest

I may not be here to see you at your best
Looks like this relationship is time for rest
Go find your connect
Treat him better than your stress
I have been a blessing but only to get you to your best

You don’t know love because you have not lost yet
With me out the picture you can find it
Within yourself first then you apply it
I just regret
That I might be around to receive it
All this work to for someone else to get
The amazing woman you
And the destroyed me
Damn what a life
Maybe next time you might just forget me
Give me a chance to live a lifetime happy
Versus in service to correct your energy