"Love"

When I look back on you, on us,
The first emotion that fills me is disgust.
I was so blinded by infatuation.
An older boy loves me without hesitation.
It wasn’t love; it was the need to be wanted.
Every now and again, my dreams are haunted.
Haunted with the memories of all the times I cried,
I thought I was bad, and you wouldn’t tell me why.
I apologized for being that way.
You held me close and said it’s ok.
It’s OK that you made me fight for your attention?
Think again, because you’re wrong, but all your wrongs I won’t mention.
Did I take too long to respond?
Or were you really hooking up with that slut by the pond?
My pond! The place where I go to clear my head.
My safe space, where you burned our pictures, and pretended I was dead.