deepundergroundpoetry.com
December 26, 2018
More than a hundred reasons why
I choose to die tonight
I know you'll never understand
I know it doesn't make sense
But this is my life
I choose what I do with it
Call me crazy and say I'm insane
But you don't know the depth of the darkness I live in day by day
You do not know what it's like
We can spend wasted hours going over it
Again and again
But you will never comprehend
You can pretend and tell me it will be alright
But the fact is it won't
Not today not tomorrow not ever
Well maybe just for a little while
But reality always has a way of kicking its way in
Leaving me feeling dejected again
And yes I'm a coward
I'm weak and powerless
In every family there's always one reject
A role I try desperately not to assume
But here I am, writing my heart out like it matters
I could never get everything i need to say out
With words or on paper or through actions
And maybe you'll be angry
Or maybe you won't even care
Maybe tears will flood your eyes
Or maybe you'll never hear
But either way life goes on
And just know that I'm sorry
I'm sorry that you met me
I'm sorry i couldn't find reasons to smile
I'm sorry that i died.
I choose to die tonight
I know you'll never understand
I know it doesn't make sense
But this is my life
I choose what I do with it
Call me crazy and say I'm insane
But you don't know the depth of the darkness I live in day by day
You do not know what it's like
We can spend wasted hours going over it
Again and again
But you will never comprehend
You can pretend and tell me it will be alright
But the fact is it won't
Not today not tomorrow not ever
Well maybe just for a little while
But reality always has a way of kicking its way in
Leaving me feeling dejected again
And yes I'm a coward
I'm weak and powerless
In every family there's always one reject
A role I try desperately not to assume
But here I am, writing my heart out like it matters
I could never get everything i need to say out
With words or on paper or through actions
And maybe you'll be angry
Or maybe you won't even care
Maybe tears will flood your eyes
Or maybe you'll never hear
But either way life goes on
And just know that I'm sorry
I'm sorry that you met me
I'm sorry i couldn't find reasons to smile
I'm sorry that i died.
Published 24th Jan 2019
Author's Note
I wrote down how i was feeling on that particular day. It help a bit to alleviate the inner turmoil.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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12th Jul 2019 2:13am
It always helps to write out our strong emotions
You did a fine job of it here.
I keep a daily journal and scribble something in it everyday
and some days it's long and drawn out like Your spill, here
and sometimes it's just a little ditty.
Point is, it's written out and out of me so i can move on.
It looks as though You've moved on, as well, based on the date
of this post.
Keep writing.........
You did a fine job of it here.
I keep a daily journal and scribble something in it everyday
and some days it's long and drawn out like Your spill, here
and sometimes it's just a little ditty.
Point is, it's written out and out of me so i can move on.
It looks as though You've moved on, as well, based on the date
of this post.
Keep writing.........
