Letter to My (One) Love

I had only one wish for you to take me with you
When you were disappearing that February night
Because you were always my bright burning light.
Darling, you were frequently leading me right into
 
The middle of every dimly lit empty dance floor.
There we were slow dancing barefooted with my
Head leaning against your shoulder and clear eyes
Closed. You were the one who opened that door,
 
But peeped to take your one and final look at me
Peacefully sleeping. Why was it you went away?
I was always left wondering why it was the fray
That was never enough for you or anyone to see
 
Beyond its reach, but for you was it ever enough?
Was I not enough for you to hold onto? Somehow
Through the chaos, mess, promises and every vow
You made to me you also broke through my tough
 
Walls I used to be so proud of. I know my feelings
Should have died right alongside you forever, but
They were coming back from the dead and my gut,
Multiplying many times again. These glass ceilings
 
Come crashing down around us with all the broken
Pieces everywhere. They were stuck in every nook
And cranny, but I now know to never let you hook
Me in like that again. You were like a shiny token
 
In my jean pocket and remain by my bedside table.
I should have never told you to leave, take off or go
Away because when you did that it is like the glow
Departed alongside your shadow. You are the fable
 
That would continually be cherished like the prayer
Engraved on your tombstone, love. You should have
Always remained buried underground. You halved
Your heart with one part in your shirt I still wear
 
And the other part remains one hundred feet deep in
The casket with you. I never truly tried to stop loving
You, even when we both kept pushing and shoving
Each other away when our most rawest, honest skin
 
Showed, knowing there is something way deeper
Than regret that keeps stabbing me in the chest.
In those final moments when you came to rest
And lay with me was when the magical keeper
 
Of all time ran away. In my heart, there is nothing
More I can do than choosing to let you go. I hope
That we have found some closure. Once the rope
Is let go of and is loosened from my grip the sun
 
Has peaked through the puffy clouds for the first
Time in months. Out there is hope for a miracle.
The waves – magical, powerful, poetic and lyrical
Will wash over me until I am clean. Your cursed
 
Name is no longer a piece of this less overcast
World and is never spoken out loud, but a part
Of me misses you. We had our chance to dart
Into the storm. Once we would have passed
 
Each other as strangers and I have to remember
That you are gone, no matter how much I want
To pull you back to me. Your ghost will haunt
Me and recognize it is not you, but your ember
 
Fading away, disappearing into the next moon’s
Tide. It gets washed away to a place where all
Weary and dead souls go to die. It free falls,
Being carried away with heaviness and balloons.
 
So this is goodbye, my love. I pray you will find
Endless sunshine and I know you are in the wind.