Want

Reasons to live
1-............

But then he tells me.
1. You are beautiful.
2. You mean the world to me.
3. You are perfect.
4. I can't live without you.
5. You're everything I could ever ask for.

He changes his mind.
1. I am disgusting.
2. You're a piece of shit.
3. I'm nasty and vile.
4. I want you dead. So I will kill you.
5. You're the opposite of what I want.

Again and again,
I deal with distortions.
He loves me, he hates me.
He needs to pick.

I'm broken,
I'm hurting..
I feel like all it'll take,
is one final kick.

I want him.
I hate him.
The feeling of him,
makes me want to be sick.

He's going to make up his mind.
Whether he likes it or not.
For if he doesn't,
I'm going to castrate his little dick.