You asked but way do i hate myself

 Imagine this!

You love someone with you heart, soul, mind and body

Now this person that you love this deeply comes and tells you i don't want you, shows you that you will never be good enough to receive this person's love back, so now you live with this unimaginable pain for months

You heart falls out of place and the one ting that keeps your body alive (your spirit) is trying to rip it self loose from your body it's unbearable pain

The only two choices you are left with

( Nr.1) take your own life to get away from the pain

Ore

( Nr. 2) you go down on your knees in front of God with you heart in your hands, pleading with God to take your heart, all the love you feel all of the pain that’s ripping you apart and slowly killing you
 
This pain are worse then hell it self, so God takes every feeling you have away, you live 6 to 7 month's just with emptiness and the emptiness feel like nothing
 
You also ask God to never give your heart back never let you feel that love again unless the person you love so much comes and ask for this love back
 
You know this person will probably never ask for your heart and love back

You find solace in God you live day to day and except everything

Then God comes for some unknown reason and sends all of that love for that person back in to you

You know this person did not ask for the love back because this person don't want to love you, you know you didn't ask for the feelings back because it's hell living with the love you can't share with the person you love

Now you are sitting there crying you want to pull your hear out you want to scratch you skin off just to get that feeling out of your body because it just hurts to much to love someone that don't want your love anymore

You show countless people away that ask for your hand, you can't give your love to someone else because your heart already belongs to the person that you love so deeply

Now you have to deal with all of this feelings God is sending back to you

God has His reasons and you don't understand way and God don't show you why

Standing there you keep on asking God why, why now?

You just want to love this person and this person don’t want you or your love, and now you just want to hate your self for loving so deep you wish your mother never showed you how to love and you wish God have never given you a loving heart
 
So now I’m also asking God (but why) did He send me this feelings back, its unnecessary no one asked for this

I have excepted everything because I will never be able to change anything

The only thing I asked was for God to send me someone that will love me and with this love unlock my heart so that I will love again

Now I’m sitting with this feeling’s loving someone that don’t want me, don’t need me, don’t want to love me

And all I’m feeling is this great love that I can’t even show ore share, I just want God to take it all away again so that I can feel the emptiness

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