Juggling Lightning

If you ever want your soul to dance in the clouds, you will at some point have to juggle lightning and taste the thunder. ~ Christopher Poindexter  
 
You can take everything you want, but will it ever be enough?  
I already had a wife, so I wanted her to be my lover.  
Was it too much to ask to have my cake and eat her too?  
She was my forbidden fruit, not my apple, but her cherry.  
She was romantic as a violin and as sexy as an electric guitar.  
I suffered the struggle within; sacrifice or satisfy, heart vs. head, lust vs. logic .  
But she was not just a fantasy, she was the dream  
I wanted to keep having over and over.  
I wanted the 3 a.m. version of her; vulnerable, real, honest, and sexy.  
She was a raging fever and an unquenchable thirst.    
She was the kind of woman that makes a poet  
Write erotic poems under an assumed name.  
She was the fork in the road and I couldn’t decide which way to go,  
But I knew that I was ready to get lost.  
I wanted to kiss her like it was the first time I ever did  
And like it was the last time I ever would.  
I wanted to map her body with my tongue.  
I wanted her to be naughty and nice  
Because I knew that she could do both.  
People are best where their passion is  
And I wanted to show her mine.  
I remember her as young and out of my league,  
But it was different then and I wanted to bring her into my sacred circle.  
However, it was not meant to be, the fantasy must always remain the fantasy.  
So, one gets deeper and another one falls further behind.  
Now she is only a precious memory,  
Though a thousand miles away I can still hear  
Her moan my name while she pleasures herself.  
And she probably doesn’t know, or maybe she does,  
That I still make love to her sometimes in the shower.  
All I ever wanted was a happily ever after,  
Not realizing that nobody ever really gets that.  
My lover is lost to me forever and the only question is,  
Will the pain leave me better than it found me?