Half a Dream

Cool Tallen!
Half a dream to write about. You've got a great writing mind, my friend.
Always enjoy your poetry.
MZ.

appreciative, always,
with Your reads and shares
Matthew

I really enjoyed the sentiment of this, Tallen.  I'vevhad dreams that were so real as well.  

Because you have requested Honest Critique, I would honor that by offering the following:


Sleeping ----
only in halves...
though seemingly REAL,
I feel too warm too happy
for this dream
to not be...
and it's not ever tomorrow yet.

You are (lying sitting up) [reclining]
cuddling (next to me)
(in) on the huge bed (in the room)
(with me and)
my head lay in Your lap (and)
my arms wrap (around) Your waist
(while) Your hand
gently strokes my head.

What seemed like hours
was only thirty minutes!
[But,] (It) felt as if time froze
(just) for us.

For a moment(,) [frozen]
I look up [as we [t]haw](ing out)
( I see You glowing )
I see Your glow, our glow
and we smile
as (time) [reality] returns us to
our time.

A huge (smile)[grin] finds me awake
with only half a dream
to write about

(and) [But,] O! (Wow!) What a half
it is!

If you remove the parenthetical references, and insert the bracketed ones, you'll have this:

Sleeping ----
only in halves...
though seemingly REAL,
I feel too warm, too happy
for this dream
to not be...
and it's not ever tomorrow yet.

You are reclining
cuddling me on the huge bed;
my head lay in Your lap --
my arms around Your waist;
Your hand gently strokes my head.

What seemed like hours
was only thirty minutes!
But, felt as if time froze for us.

For a moment, frozen
I look up as we thaw --
I see Your glow, our glow
and we smile
as reality returns us
to our time.

A huge grin finds me awake
with only half a dream
to write about

But, O! What a half it is!

What I've done is remove extraneous wordage, e.g. - lying sitting up = reclining, cuddling implies next to me, wrap implies around, and so forth.  

I've also substituted duplicate wordage, i.e. - reality for time ( because you used REAL in the first stanza, I thought reality would emphasize it ), grin for smile, etc.

I've reformatted a bit for flow, paying particular attention to end words.  

You have a very nice write that many will relate to, Tallen.  Thank you for sharing.  

I've read Your critique today -- i mean really paid attention to it and agree with
nearly everything and
will take the advice to heart.

I appreciate the honest critique.  :)

Thank you for accepting it in the spirit it was given, Tallen: A gift.
Glad I could help.