Damsel in Distress

My dear Strumpkin,  
 
My dearest friend, I must tell you what has happened to me.
 I had  chanced upon an abandoned  road where there was an embankment of earth along the side, about eight feet high.  
 
On this darkened unknown alley there were several sundry women who I found with their head and arms trapped in the bank of soil.  The remainder of their bodies appeared rather voluptuosly for the taking, in fact writhing to the rythms of fornication.
 I indeed did want sorely to take one or more between my loins, as the women themselves, through some mysterious Art, did call to me as  did the sirens of long ago sailing shipmate lore.  

But I, much Sharp of hearing did note, one of these,  the freshest of damsels in this clutch, did tremble and whimper with fear. Any lust i may have felt,  doused mightily by  cold splash of her worried refrain.    
 
Insofar as the gentleman that I perceived my self to be, I resolved to save this lassy from her predicament and offer her my bachelor's honourable hand in marriage.    
   
I surmised some monster by some force held her upper body concealed in the dirt, leaving her most irresistible back side exposed for to  draw me near like a mouse trap. I being a mouse, she, the cheese.
 
Being much on my guard, I outwardly feigned drunkenness of a carnal nature, approaching her trembling awesomeness with my own at the ready.   
Grasping her pelvis, parlaying the pole mighty close,
I graze lips layered in love locks.
I unsheathed my sword, driving it deep into the unsuspecting earthen bank, whilst pulling the damsel with all my being to free her from this monster, that was now emiting an earth shaking shriek. Momentarily losing it's grip, islimed tentacles pulled from nostrils, mouth and unwrapped from her torso.    
   
I did abandon my sword in the flailing arms, reaching out to re-gain her recapture.  Long runful strides brought us well away from the Chaos.  I lay her down  on  moss meadow of the moor,
My great woolen coat and cover her pudendal shame.    
   
I cooed to calm  fair damsel, awaiting her words which did not come.  Her face in much distress, I stood, to leave her side, to grant her her privacy and to give me some needed grace to
digest on these grisly events.    
   
Eventually I made my return, only to find not her nor my coat. Vanished had they, into foggy night.   I a man, much forlorned by her choice,  I did emit a cry of my own loss.  Some lengthy whimper, moose call extraordinaire    
I faced my new future, Damseless. I composed myself, set off down towards the Coast to my abode.  I no sooner had begun the journey, when much to my startlement, there was, blocking my path forward, an Olive skinned beauty ,  eyes piercing into mine.    
 
it was mere seconds before she held complete control over us, her nudity rekindling nascent desire.    
Arms encircle, lips melt mine,  pelvis  pressed against pole
softly, rhythmically.  
 
In perceived perception of matrimonial moors , I sweep her  joyously off her feet, to commence carrying
Olive home to make my love under my roof,  
In doing so I catch sight of small tentacles retreating back inside.

I maintain my  composure after the ghastly sight.  
I fail not  my outward show of Adoration.  
Thus I scheme:  I lay down great coat right then and there, positioning her in the center of my Universe
 caressing  body with man's hands kisses,  and man wishes,
  
 resting man's hand .onto woman's  trembling thigh,  I  dangerously high, danger being nigh. 
I perch at the plunge, sigh...

NOW, Sword hand knocks my  to the side,
Spear hand jams fully  inside the little creature's abode
Mightily the mini monster mords it's beak  into me
I pull a prolonged pull, , slurp glurp pop, tentacles separate one by one
      
I slam hard hand's catch to the cobbled stone.
Olive crys and grabs towards  her beastchild.
Sadly, I must thrust her from me with a boot to her shoulder
to attend to the little demon at hand.
  
Olive lies, limp emotionless, motionless
I bundle her up in my great coat , toss her over my shoulder for the long walk home.  
 
 My  strides rock her to sleep. Our Eden unknown.